Meet the Peer: Rodney Hough – Certified Peer Specialist

[00:00:07.68 –> 00:00:11.12] hello and welcome to meet the peer a

[00:00:09.60 –> 00:00:13.48] special Series where we shine the

[00:00:11.12 –> 00:00:14.96] spotlight on peer Specialists meet the

[00:00:13.48 –> 00:00:17.04] peers is brought to you by straightup

[00:00:14.96 –> 00:00:18.96] care with a mission to empower peer

[00:00:17.04 –> 00:00:20.88] recovery professionals straightup care

[00:00:18.96 –> 00:00:23.04] provides a multi-use platform and

[00:00:20.88 –> 00:00:24.72] resources for peer Specialists to share

[00:00:23.04 –> 00:00:26.12] their lived experience and build a

[00:00:24.72 –> 00:00:28.76] positive connection with those in the

[00:00:26.12 –> 00:00:30.76] community in the recovery Community I’m

[00:00:28.76 –> 00:00:32.36] your host Whitney Minar and on this

[00:00:30.76 –> 00:00:34.32] episode of Meet the peer we have Rodney

[00:00:32.36 –> 00:00:37.84] Huff a certified peer specialist in New

[00:00:34.32 –> 00:00:40.56] York welcome Rodney good

[00:00:37.84 –> 00:00:42.88] morning I’m excited to talk to you today

[00:00:40.56 –> 00:00:45.20] and for more people to hear your story I

[00:00:42.88 –> 00:00:48.32] certainly know a little bit myself and

[00:00:45.20 –> 00:00:50.32] am just I love what you have to share so

[00:00:48.32 –> 00:00:54.00] can you kind of just start with your

[00:00:50.32 –> 00:00:56.68] journey what led you to where you are

[00:00:54.00 –> 00:00:58.52] today oh okay well first of all thank

[00:00:56.68 –> 00:01:00.88] you for having me thank you so much for

[00:00:58.52 –> 00:01:05.20] uh allowing me to be a part of this uh

[00:01:00.88 –> 00:01:08.00] Whitney it’s a beautiful thing um I you

[00:01:05.20 –> 00:01:10.40] know when it comes when it comes to you

[00:01:08.00 –> 00:01:13.00] know growing up with you know in a in

[00:01:10.40 –> 00:01:15.20] substance use and things of that nature

[00:01:13.00 –> 00:01:19.04] uh I grew up in the ghetto uh the

[00:01:15.20 –> 00:01:21.20] projects so to speak and um uh there was

[00:01:19.04 –> 00:01:23.24] a lot of things that that we were

[00:01:21.20 –> 00:01:24.80] surrounded by you know even though I was

[00:01:23.24 –> 00:01:27.32] involved in you know a little bit of

[00:01:24.80 –> 00:01:30.08] sports here and there um you know for

[00:01:27.32 –> 00:01:31.04] the most part um There Was You know

[00:01:30.08 –> 00:01:32.88] there was

[00:01:31.04 –> 00:01:35.04] alcohol you know there was a lot of

[00:01:32.88 –> 00:01:37.88] marijuana smoke there was a lot of you

[00:01:35.04 –> 00:01:40.12] know you know you can just say Street

[00:01:37.88 –> 00:01:41.64] Talk street slang things of that nature

[00:01:40.12 –> 00:01:44.16] uh you know where being cool you know

[00:01:41.64 –> 00:01:46.52] being cool was the thing to do um you

[00:01:44.16 –> 00:01:49.60] know uh I can honestly say that all that

[00:01:46.52 –> 00:01:52.60] all that being cool led me led me down a

[00:01:49.60 –> 00:01:54.12] path that made me the man I am today

[00:01:52.60 –> 00:01:56.64] I’ll say it like that you know even

[00:01:54.12 –> 00:02:00.60] though that path that I chose that I

[00:01:56.64 –> 00:02:03.48] chose to go down was a path that uh most

[00:02:00.60 –> 00:02:06.08] people are destroyed in the process of

[00:02:03.48 –> 00:02:08.56] going down that path so I’m thankful and

[00:02:06.08 –> 00:02:10.44] I’m grateful to God to be here today to

[00:02:08.56 –> 00:02:14.24] share my story and my testimony with you

[00:02:10.44 –> 00:02:16.04] all um uh I can say that I actually

[00:02:14.24 –> 00:02:17.48] started probably using or smoking

[00:02:16.04 –> 00:02:20.40] cigarettes and things of that nature

[00:02:17.48 –> 00:02:24.16] around between the ages of 11 and

[00:02:20.40 –> 00:02:26.16] 13 um you know doing doing things

[00:02:24.16 –> 00:02:28.04] because my friends were doing it you

[00:02:26.16 –> 00:02:31.72] know doing things because we were bored

[00:02:28.04 –> 00:02:33.48] or whatever um and uh I can honestly say

[00:02:31.72 –> 00:02:34.96] you know and the things that I teach my

[00:02:33.48 –> 00:02:37.68] kids today is you know you stay away

[00:02:34.96 –> 00:02:42.04] from that those type of things

[00:02:37.68 –> 00:02:44.60] um I uh you know got caught up in in a

[00:02:42.04 –> 00:02:46.72] in a in a lifestyle that that was

[00:02:44.60 –> 00:02:49.44] attractive it was attractive you know I

[00:02:46.72 –> 00:02:51.20] found I found that people who you know

[00:02:49.44 –> 00:02:52.64] it’s kind of a twisted belief system

[00:02:51.20 –> 00:02:54.64] because in my neighborhood people who

[00:02:52.64 –> 00:02:55.80] were just getting out of prison were

[00:02:54.64 –> 00:02:58.20] looked at as

[00:02:55.80 –> 00:03:00.88] Heroes you know because they come out of

[00:02:58.20 –> 00:03:02.32] prison they all buff you know and the

[00:03:00.88 –> 00:03:03.92] chest sticking out and things of that

[00:03:02.32 –> 00:03:07.96] nature and we looked at those guys a lot

[00:03:03.92 –> 00:03:09.68] of times as Heroes and people from

[00:03:07.96 –> 00:03:11.12] another Walk of Life from from the other

[00:03:09.68 –> 00:03:14.48] side of the fence they would say those

[00:03:11.12 –> 00:03:17.04] guys are nuts you know but who did we

[00:03:14.48 –> 00:03:19.80] have to look up to you see what I’m

[00:03:17.04 –> 00:03:22.32] saying because me and most of my friends

[00:03:19.80 –> 00:03:24.00] we grew up you know there was no man in

[00:03:22.32 –> 00:03:25.84] the picture we we most of us grew up

[00:03:24.00 –> 00:03:28.40] fatherless I had friends who grew up

[00:03:25.84 –> 00:03:30.00] outside of the ghetto who grew up with

[00:03:28.40 –> 00:03:31.84] their dad in the house and a lot of

[00:03:30.00 –> 00:03:34.44] those guys turned out they turned out to

[00:03:31.84 –> 00:03:36.60] be they turned out really good they were

[00:03:34.44 –> 00:03:38.56] working uh they were doing things that

[00:03:36.60 –> 00:03:40.36] guys in the hood just weren’t doing or

[00:03:38.56 –> 00:03:42.80] they were doing things that

[00:03:40.36 –> 00:03:44.32] we we kind of like weren’t interested in

[00:03:42.80 –> 00:03:46.80] certain things we were more in

[00:03:44.32 –> 00:03:50.36] interested in going to the stores going

[00:03:46.80 –> 00:03:52.68] stealing uh drinking beer drinking wine

[00:03:50.36 –> 00:03:54.92] sneaking and smoking cigarettes you know

[00:03:52.68 –> 00:03:56.48] we were seemed like we were more

[00:03:54.92 –> 00:03:58.88] interested in things that that a lot of

[00:03:56.48 –> 00:04:00.88] other guys who had mother and father in

[00:03:58.88 –> 00:04:02.96] their family you know which proved a lot

[00:04:00.88 –> 00:04:05.52] of the statistics to be true you know

[00:04:02.96 –> 00:04:09.08] having two parents positive parents in

[00:04:05.52 –> 00:04:11.68] the picture it it it it it has a grand

[00:04:09.08 –> 00:04:15.36] effect on the mindset and the upbringing

[00:04:11.68 –> 00:04:17.12] of a child it does um anyway to make a

[00:04:15.36 –> 00:04:18.60] long story short I don’t want to take up

[00:04:17.12 –> 00:04:21.88] too much time but I do want to get to

[00:04:18.60 –> 00:04:24.28] the gist of what I’m saying I ended up

[00:04:21.88 –> 00:04:27.96] uh um I started experimenting with

[00:04:24.28 –> 00:04:30.64] cocaine I think when I was

[00:04:27.96 –> 00:04:33.40] probably I don’t know 19

[00:04:30.64 –> 00:04:35.60] 1920 somewhere around in there and a lot

[00:04:33.40 –> 00:04:37.36] of people didn’t know that I was using

[00:04:35.60 –> 00:04:39.60] cocaine I would always I was hanging out

[00:04:37.36 –> 00:04:42.08] with people who were much older than me

[00:04:39.60 –> 00:04:43.80] um and you know now things that I know

[00:04:42.08 –> 00:04:46.84] now is that I was suffering from an

[00:04:43.80 –> 00:04:48.44] abandonment life Trap it was a serious

[00:04:46.84 –> 00:04:49.68] abandonment life Trap that I was

[00:04:48.44 –> 00:04:53.60] suffering from and I don’t want to go

[00:04:49.68 –> 00:04:55.36] too deep into that but that led me to

[00:04:53.60 –> 00:04:56.80] you know some feelings of hurt and the

[00:04:55.36 –> 00:05:00.12] thing that would take away the hurt that

[00:04:56.80 –> 00:05:03.36] I was suffering from was getting high so

[00:05:00.12 –> 00:05:05.00] every time I got high there was no pain

[00:05:03.36 –> 00:05:07.12] because I became homeless at the age of

[00:05:05.00 –> 00:05:09.12] 17 when a lot of my friends were about

[00:05:07.12 –> 00:05:11.60] to graduate high school I was homeless I

[00:05:09.12 –> 00:05:13.24] didn’t have nowhere to stay and the

[00:05:11.60 –> 00:05:14.68] place that I had to stay there was no

[00:05:13.24 –> 00:05:16.64] power there was no lights there was no

[00:05:14.68 –> 00:05:17.88] running water and things of that nature

[00:05:16.64 –> 00:05:20.60] so I really didn’t have anywhere to go

[00:05:17.88 –> 00:05:24.12] so off to New York I went because I

[00:05:20.60 –> 00:05:25.80] needed somewhere to stay and um again

[00:05:24.12 –> 00:05:27.44] started using cocaine hanging out with

[00:05:25.80 –> 00:05:29.88] people that used cocaine and sold

[00:05:27.44 –> 00:05:31.20] cocaine so you know what happens when

[00:05:29.88 –> 00:05:33.96] you’re hanging out with people who’s

[00:05:31.20 –> 00:05:36.32] doing a certain thing you’re going to do

[00:05:33.96 –> 00:05:37.56] the same thing as well you’re gonna nine

[00:05:36.32 –> 00:05:39.56] times out of 10 you’re going to do those

[00:05:37.56 –> 00:05:40.88] same things uh had I been hanging out

[00:05:39.56 –> 00:05:42.28] with people who were in college and

[00:05:40.88 –> 00:05:43.56] registering for college and things of

[00:05:42.28 –> 00:05:45.28] that nature I probably would have

[00:05:43.56 –> 00:05:50.80] graduated from college earlier in life

[00:05:45.28 –> 00:05:53.16] as well so anyway got start using drugs

[00:05:50.80 –> 00:05:54.96] start selling drugs and one of the

[00:05:53.16 –> 00:05:57.52] reasons that I started selling drugs is

[00:05:54.96 –> 00:06:00.08] because I needed food right I needed to

[00:05:57.52 –> 00:06:02.72] eat I didn’t have a good work history or

[00:06:00.08 –> 00:06:05.12] good work ethic at that time so I needed

[00:06:02.72 –> 00:06:07.52] food I needed clothing I needed shelter

[00:06:05.12 –> 00:06:09.84] and the ways to get food shelter and

[00:06:07.52 –> 00:06:11.72] clothing was for me to sell drugs so

[00:06:09.84 –> 00:06:13.40] when I was you know introduced to you

[00:06:11.72 –> 00:06:15.72] know I already knew how to sell drugs I

[00:06:13.40 –> 00:06:17.44] just knew don’t tell me I don’t know how

[00:06:15.72 –> 00:06:20.20] but I just knew what to do and how to do

[00:06:17.44 –> 00:06:22.40] it because I’ve seen it going on in in

[00:06:20.20 –> 00:06:25.96] my neighborhood or even in the people

[00:06:22.40 –> 00:06:28.76] that uh that frequently came around so

[00:06:25.96 –> 00:06:30.04] um started selling drugs and I ended up

[00:06:28.76 –> 00:06:33.16] uh making money

[00:06:30.04 –> 00:06:34.88] yeah you know but it’s only for a season

[00:06:33.16 –> 00:06:37.64] you know it only lasts for a short

[00:06:34.88 –> 00:06:40.28] period of time so I ended up in state

[00:06:37.64 –> 00:06:42.64] prison I was in a State Correctional

[00:06:40.28 –> 00:06:46.44] Facility maximum security they sent me

[00:06:42.64 –> 00:06:49.68] the maximum security at the age of 21

[00:06:46.44 –> 00:06:52.52] first felon there was no first time fing

[00:06:49.68 –> 00:06:54.56] things because I’m 56 years old today

[00:06:52.52 –> 00:06:56.24] there was no first time feling thing in

[00:06:54.56 –> 00:07:00.52] place in

[00:06:56.24 –> 00:07:03.36] 1988 889 1991

[00:07:00.52 –> 00:07:07.20] they sent me straight to prison no

[00:07:03.36 –> 00:07:08.92] chances of retrieving or reforming me or

[00:07:07.20 –> 00:07:11.76] helping me to reform myself it was

[00:07:08.92 –> 00:07:13.60] straight to prison um was I scared

[00:07:11.76 –> 00:07:15.52] absolutely um I went to a place where

[00:07:13.60 –> 00:07:17.72] people had already been 20 and 30 years

[00:07:15.52 –> 00:07:19.40] of their life and people were uh

[00:07:17.72 –> 00:07:21.84] carrying knives carrying Shanks and

[00:07:19.40 –> 00:07:24.48] things of that nature I’m 21 years old

[00:07:21.84 –> 00:07:28.04] straight to state prison so at that

[00:07:24.48 –> 00:07:30.16] point in my life um I got back into what

[00:07:28.04 –> 00:07:32.92] I like the most and which was

[00:07:30.16 –> 00:07:34.36] reading um so I read books read books

[00:07:32.92 –> 00:07:36.40] read books and I did most of my time

[00:07:34.36 –> 00:07:38.88] reading books lifting weights and just

[00:07:36.40 –> 00:07:40.60] minding my business I knew to mind my

[00:07:38.88 –> 00:07:42.44] business and not based on things that I

[00:07:40.60 –> 00:07:44.44] had seen on TV but based on the fact

[00:07:42.44 –> 00:07:46.16] that I had an uncle who had already been

[00:07:44.44 –> 00:07:48.88] in prison over 30 something years at

[00:07:46.16 –> 00:07:50.56] that time so he pretty much told me how

[00:07:48.88 –> 00:07:53.28] to act and how to carry myself once I

[00:07:50.56 –> 00:07:54.84] got to prison anyway I get out of prison

[00:07:53.28 –> 00:07:56.64] while I was in prison I made new

[00:07:54.84 –> 00:07:58.28] connections and things of that nature so

[00:07:56.64 –> 00:08:00.32] when I get out of prison I go right back

[00:07:58.28 –> 00:08:02.08] into drugs right back into addiction

[00:08:00.32 –> 00:08:04.64] right back into that whole party and

[00:08:02.08 –> 00:08:08.12] play a pimp Hustler lifestyle and I

[00:08:04.64 –> 00:08:10.84] ended up making money again but it’s

[00:08:08.12 –> 00:08:14.72] only for a short time I ended up

[00:08:10.84 –> 00:08:17.60] homeless I ended up living under a

[00:08:14.72 –> 00:08:19.92] bridge I ended up walking the street

[00:08:17.60 –> 00:08:23.04] until my feet had

[00:08:19.92 –> 00:08:25.16] blisters I had literal blisters on my

[00:08:23.04 –> 00:08:27.52] feet I walk the

[00:08:25.16 –> 00:08:29.32] streets I don’t know I don’t know 6

[00:08:27.52 –> 00:08:32.76] months eight months you know the whole

[00:08:29.32 –> 00:08:34.80] whole summer the whole fall winter all

[00:08:32.76 –> 00:08:36.56] in the streets spent time in the streets

[00:08:34.80 –> 00:08:39.72] uh ashamed to go around people ashamed

[00:08:36.56 –> 00:08:42.00] to let people see how addiction had

[00:08:39.72 –> 00:08:44.24] taken over me I I pretty much it’s all

[00:08:42.00 –> 00:08:46.12] about what we allow and you don’t learn

[00:08:44.24 –> 00:08:48.52] that right then you learn that

[00:08:46.12 –> 00:08:51.20] afterwards um how I had allowed

[00:08:48.52 –> 00:08:52.24] addiction to take complete control of my

[00:08:51.20 –> 00:08:53.76] heart and

[00:08:52.24 –> 00:08:58.84] soul

[00:08:53.76 –> 00:09:02.52] um so again um in the streets selling

[00:08:58.84 –> 00:09:05.68] using in Robin stealing uh thank God I

[00:09:02.52 –> 00:09:07.52] never killed anybody um I’ve been shot

[00:09:05.68 –> 00:09:09.76] at I’ve been shot at Point Blank Range

[00:09:07.52 –> 00:09:11.32] I’ve been shot at many times thank God

[00:09:09.76 –> 00:09:12.60] I’m still alive I mean some of the

[00:09:11.32 –> 00:09:16.52] things that I’ve been through in my life

[00:09:12.60 –> 00:09:18.48] you’ll only see on uh Chicago PD and

[00:09:16.52 –> 00:09:21.16] it’s it’s it’s some real real serious

[00:09:18.48 –> 00:09:25.56] things that I’ve went through in my life

[00:09:21.16 –> 00:09:27.56] um after that um living the life on the

[00:09:25.56 –> 00:09:29.24] streets a life of crime you know there

[00:09:27.56 –> 00:09:30.80] was cars involved there was there was

[00:09:29.24 –> 00:09:33.08] there was the Bible says that there’s

[00:09:30.80 –> 00:09:36.64] pleasure in sin so there were some

[00:09:33.08 –> 00:09:39.16] pleasurable times but it was the worst

[00:09:36.64 –> 00:09:40.92] times that made me the man I am today

[00:09:39.16 –> 00:09:44.40] not the pleasure but the times when I

[00:09:40.92 –> 00:09:48.88] was bottom out Rock Bottom nothing

[00:09:44.40 –> 00:09:52.08] nowhere to go no no money uh not even a

[00:09:48.88 –> 00:09:54.48] change of clothes nothing um there were

[00:09:52.08 –> 00:09:56.20] times when I would go in a store I would

[00:09:54.48 –> 00:09:58.16] go in a store and change my whole

[00:09:56.20 –> 00:09:59.80] wardrobe in a store and come out with

[00:09:58.16 –> 00:10:01.28] brand new clothes on

[00:09:59.80 –> 00:10:03.88] that’s how far addiction had taken me

[00:10:01.28 –> 00:10:06.00] over um you know sleeping under a bridge

[00:10:03.88 –> 00:10:09.20] sleeping in a in a crack house sleeping

[00:10:06.00 –> 00:10:12.32] on the back porch of a crack house not

[00:10:09.20 –> 00:10:16.28] even in the house but on the back porch

[00:10:12.32 –> 00:10:19.76] of a crack house that’s how bad uh the

[00:10:16.28 –> 00:10:21.64] addiction had taken over me um after

[00:10:19.76 –> 00:10:24.68] that I ended up in federal prison

[00:10:21.64 –> 00:10:27.44] committed a crime huge crime uh didn’t

[00:10:24.68 –> 00:10:30.48] kill anybody drug trafficking ended up

[00:10:27.44 –> 00:10:32.52] in federal prison they gave gave me 11

[00:10:30.48 –> 00:10:36.12] years federal

[00:10:32.52 –> 00:10:37.92] prison and um at that point when I when

[00:10:36.12 –> 00:10:40.56] I was before the

[00:10:37.92 –> 00:10:43.36] judge and he gave me the

[00:10:40.56 –> 00:10:47.80] sentence I was okay with it for some

[00:10:43.36 –> 00:10:50.24] reason because I was tired I was I was

[00:10:47.80 –> 00:10:51.56] tired of being on the streets I was

[00:10:50.24 –> 00:10:54.80] tired of

[00:10:51.56 –> 00:10:58.44] being uh what is it hungry angry lonely

[00:10:54.80 –> 00:10:59.60] and tired I was excuse me said it was

[00:10:58.44 –> 00:11:04.04] almost a break

[00:10:59.60 –> 00:11:05.88] for you yeah but anyway I was it was it

[00:11:04.04 –> 00:11:08.76] was it was like a sigh of relief but at

[00:11:05.88 –> 00:11:11.92] the same time when I got back uh to my

[00:11:08.76 –> 00:11:14.36] jail Cale and then they shipped me

[00:11:11.92 –> 00:11:16.36] to well when I say ship because they

[00:11:14.36 –> 00:11:19.20] treated us like kind of you get treated

[00:11:16.36 –> 00:11:22.68] like animals so they shipped us to um

[00:11:19.20 –> 00:11:26.44] Fort Dicks New Jersey and that was a

[00:11:22.68 –> 00:11:28.16] 24hour bus ride with chains and shackles

[00:11:26.44 –> 00:11:30.36] the whole time wow and you had to switch

[00:11:28.16 –> 00:11:31.80] buses you had stay overnight in certain

[00:11:30.36 –> 00:11:33.64] federal federal correctional

[00:11:31.80 –> 00:11:34.92] institutions you would stay overnight

[00:11:33.64 –> 00:11:36.60] they would chain you back up the next

[00:11:34.92 –> 00:11:38.88] morning you would ride for

[00:11:36.60 –> 00:11:40.96] another I don’t know five six hours

[00:11:38.88 –> 00:11:42.96] they’ll stop they’ll let you eat they’ll

[00:11:40.96 –> 00:11:46.04] unchain you chain you back up it was it

[00:11:42.96 –> 00:11:48.04] was a very very dehumanizing

[00:11:46.04 –> 00:11:49.40] dehumanizing experience that you go

[00:11:48.04 –> 00:11:55.72] through when you

[00:11:49.40 –> 00:12:00.48] incarcerated um so I did um I did about

[00:11:55.72 –> 00:12:01.88] eight years more in federal prison and

[00:12:00.48 –> 00:12:04.48] remember I went to state prison now I’m

[00:12:01.88 –> 00:12:06.24] in federal prison when I got out well

[00:12:04.48 –> 00:12:08.04] the whole time I was in federal prison I

[00:12:06.24 –> 00:12:11.32] was my mind was made up I was like I’m

[00:12:08.04 –> 00:12:14.64] done so I got into programming I got

[00:12:11.32 –> 00:12:16.88] into counseling I got into helping other

[00:12:14.64 –> 00:12:18.44] people I got into there was guys who had

[00:12:16.88 –> 00:12:20.04] been there already 20 years when I got

[00:12:18.44 –> 00:12:22.08] there but they wanted advice from me and

[00:12:20.04 –> 00:12:25.08] I’m like what you’ve been off the

[00:12:22.08 –> 00:12:27.36] streets all this time and

[00:12:25.08 –> 00:12:30.04] so sometimes people can see things in

[00:12:27.36 –> 00:12:34.12] you that you can’t see in yourself

[00:12:30.04 –> 00:12:36.48] right and so I took it upon myself to to

[00:12:34.12 –> 00:12:38.00] to uh there’s a book that I read long

[00:12:36.48 –> 00:12:40.04] time ago I think I was in ninth grade it

[00:12:38.00 –> 00:12:42.80] was called a retrieved

[00:12:40.04 –> 00:12:44.64] reformation and uh that book would

[00:12:42.80 –> 00:12:47.88] always ring in my head ring ring ring

[00:12:44.64 –> 00:12:50.08] ring ring so what is a retrieved

[00:12:47.88 –> 00:12:52.40] Reformation you’re looking at it today

[00:12:50.08 –> 00:12:56.20] this is a retrieved Reformation

[00:12:52.40 –> 00:12:58.52] retrieved mean I took it upon myself to

[00:12:56.20 –> 00:12:59.48] reform my mind and change my way of

[00:12:58.52 –> 00:13:03.96] thinking

[00:12:59.48 –> 00:13:06.80] doing and acting I changed it through

[00:13:03.96 –> 00:13:08.48] the power of prayer and through the

[00:13:06.80 –> 00:13:09.80] power of because it says that faith

[00:13:08.48 –> 00:13:13.32] without works is dead so you still got

[00:13:09.80 –> 00:13:16.52] to do your part so I quit I quit hanging

[00:13:13.32 –> 00:13:18.96] in the streets I quit going to clubs I

[00:13:16.52 –> 00:13:20.96] quit hanging with anybody that was

[00:13:18.96 –> 00:13:24.48] associated with anything having to do

[00:13:20.96 –> 00:13:26.76] with uh drugs and at that point a lot of

[00:13:24.48 –> 00:13:29.00] uh members of my family you know they

[00:13:26.76 –> 00:13:31.20] begin to ridicule and say oh think

[00:13:29.00 –> 00:13:33.72] you’re better than us and I remember

[00:13:31.20 –> 00:13:35.60] when you used to do this I remember when

[00:13:33.72 –> 00:13:37.28] you used to do that I say yeah but I

[00:13:35.60 –> 00:13:39.64] don’t do those things no

[00:13:37.28 –> 00:13:43.32] more I don’t do those things no more you

[00:13:39.64 –> 00:13:45.12] know so a lot of times uh your your your

[00:13:43.32 –> 00:13:47.00] anointing the anointing that you have on

[00:13:45.12 –> 00:13:48.88] you other people don’t see it they don’t

[00:13:47.00 –> 00:13:50.60] see it and they don’t understand it and

[00:13:48.88 –> 00:13:53.00] they don’t share in your dreams and your

[00:13:50.60 –> 00:13:55.40] goals and they will become jealous but

[00:13:53.00 –> 00:13:58.28] you got to know that when something’s

[00:13:55.40 –> 00:13:59.80] meant for you it’s for you you know

[00:13:58.28 –> 00:14:01.52] because I higher power can show me

[00:13:59.80 –> 00:14:02.44] things that he won’t show you he’ll just

[00:14:01.52 –> 00:14:04.72] show

[00:14:02.44 –> 00:14:07.24] me and then other people they don’t see

[00:14:04.72 –> 00:14:09.80] it so with that being said I just

[00:14:07.24 –> 00:14:11.84] continue to move forward with my life

[00:14:09.80 –> 00:14:13.28] and I moved away from North Carolina

[00:14:11.84 –> 00:14:15.32] because changing playgrounds and

[00:14:13.28 –> 00:14:16.60] Playmates is one of the keys to staying

[00:14:15.32 –> 00:14:21.12] clean and

[00:14:16.60 –> 00:14:23.20] sober um as I stated in my in my bio I

[00:14:21.12 –> 00:14:24.28] had I’ve been clean for about 22 years I

[00:14:23.20 –> 00:14:26.16] had one

[00:14:24.28 –> 00:14:29.36] relapse

[00:14:26.16 –> 00:14:31.12] and that that was a relapse

[00:14:29.36 –> 00:14:33.48] because I became

[00:14:31.12 –> 00:14:36.04] complacent I was in a bad

[00:14:33.48 –> 00:14:38.20] relationship and it it also tells you in

[00:14:36.04 –> 00:14:41.32] your recovery stay out of a relationship

[00:14:38.20 –> 00:14:43.84] for at least a year so I came straight

[00:14:41.32 –> 00:14:45.80] out of prison and went straight into a

[00:14:43.84 –> 00:14:49.56] relationship I’m not saying anything bad

[00:14:45.80 –> 00:14:51.44] about her just you gota you got to focus

[00:14:49.56 –> 00:14:55.04] on your emotional intelligence because

[00:14:51.44 –> 00:14:57.48] if once you gain control of your

[00:14:55.04 –> 00:14:59.28] emotions then you change the direction

[00:14:57.48 –> 00:15:00.84] of your life

[00:14:59.28 –> 00:15:02.12] you have to be able to manage and

[00:15:00.84 –> 00:15:04.72] control your

[00:15:02.12 –> 00:15:07.08] emotions you know it’s interesting uh

[00:15:04.72 –> 00:15:09.52] just yesterday I saw a quote about you

[00:15:07.08 –> 00:15:11.48] have to love yourself first and then

[00:15:09.52 –> 00:15:13.24] everything else falls into place and it

[00:15:11.48 –> 00:15:15.68] sounds exactly what you’re talking about

[00:15:13.24 –> 00:15:19.32] that need to take care of you before you

[00:15:15.68 –> 00:15:21.84] try to be someone with another person

[00:15:19.32 –> 00:15:23.16] absolutely absolutely because like like

[00:15:21.84 –> 00:15:25.88] Whitney Houston said you know when you

[00:15:23.16 –> 00:15:29.04] learn to love yourself you know it’s The

[00:15:25.88 –> 00:15:31.56] Greatest Love of All you know but not to

[00:15:29.04 –> 00:15:32.92] say anything bad about her but you know

[00:15:31.56 –> 00:15:34.28] sometimes people can say they love

[00:15:32.92 –> 00:15:37.80] themselves but then their actions prove

[00:15:34.28 –> 00:15:40.00] that they don’t so me I know today that

[00:15:37.80 –> 00:15:41.68] I love myself because once you get

[00:15:40.00 –> 00:15:43.16] cleaned off the alcohol the drugs or

[00:15:41.68 –> 00:15:44.24] whatever your drug of choice was you

[00:15:43.16 –> 00:15:47.20] still

[00:15:44.24 –> 00:15:50.20] have uh those dreams you still have

[00:15:47.20 –> 00:15:53.52] those Cravings they just just don’t go

[00:15:50.20 –> 00:15:55.36] away um and again like I said I had that

[00:15:53.52 –> 00:15:58.80] one relapse and I think it lasted for

[00:15:55.36 –> 00:16:01.64] about three months so I got high every

[00:15:58.80 –> 00:16:02.80] day for about three months and then I

[00:16:01.64 –> 00:16:04.12] looked at myself in the mirror I was

[00:16:02.80 –> 00:16:06.00] like look at all this clean time you

[00:16:04.12 –> 00:16:07.84] having look at what are you doing to

[00:16:06.00 –> 00:16:09.60] yourself why would you do this to

[00:16:07.84 –> 00:16:10.64] yourself all over again it’s only going

[00:16:09.60 –> 00:16:12.80] to get

[00:16:10.64 –> 00:16:15.16] worse it’s only going to get worse and

[00:16:12.80 –> 00:16:18.68] it was worse it was worse because it was

[00:16:15.16 –> 00:16:22.80] every day and addiction is one of those

[00:16:18.68 –> 00:16:27.24] things that you can’t really hide so I

[00:16:22.80 –> 00:16:30.64] quit I quit I did a 21

[00:16:27.24 –> 00:16:33.80] day um I want to say harnessing and

[00:16:30.64 –> 00:16:37.36] breaking myself I broke myself and I

[00:16:33.80 –> 00:16:41.48] examined myself and I stayed in off the

[00:16:37.36 –> 00:16:44.88] streets I stayed in for the 21 days in a

[00:16:41.48 –> 00:16:48.28] row and and here I am today so and it’s

[00:16:44.88 –> 00:16:49.80] been you know that plus another 10 years

[00:16:48.28 –> 00:16:52.84] that I’ve been clean and sober and

[00:16:49.80 –> 00:16:55.52] focused completely focused um me and my

[00:16:52.84 –> 00:16:57.92] kids we live now we started out in a

[00:16:55.52 –> 00:16:59.60] one-bedroom apartment we went from that

[00:16:57.92 –> 00:17:03.00] to a two- bedroom three-bedroom

[00:16:59.60 –> 00:17:07.32] townhouse and now by the grace of God me

[00:17:03.00 –> 00:17:10.72] and my kids live in a four bedroom house

[00:17:07.32 –> 00:17:13.04] and and I give thanks to

[00:17:10.72 –> 00:17:15.68] myself because if I don’t do the right

[00:17:13.04 –> 00:17:17.56] thing how’s God going to give me what

[00:17:15.68 –> 00:17:19.08] you know what what what’s there for me

[00:17:17.56 –> 00:17:21.08] what’s in store for me I need to do the

[00:17:19.08 –> 00:17:23.32] right thing so I give thanks to myself

[00:17:21.08 –> 00:17:25.60] for staying focused and I give thanks to

[00:17:23.32 –> 00:17:27.40] God for my children because my children

[00:17:25.60 –> 00:17:30.40] played a major role in me staying

[00:17:27.40 –> 00:17:34.92] focused because they help me really uh

[00:17:30.40 –> 00:17:37.44] uh focus and and and and hone in on my

[00:17:34.92 –> 00:17:39.16] purpose in life so I have a son and a

[00:17:37.44 –> 00:17:40.32] daughter I can show you guys real quick

[00:17:39.16 –> 00:17:42.72] let’s

[00:17:40.32 –> 00:17:47.20] see these are my kids right here can you

[00:17:42.72 –> 00:17:50.40] see this oh those are my

[00:17:47.20 –> 00:17:56.64] kids love that yep it’s Tiana and

[00:17:50.40 –> 00:17:58.44] tarne and um we we we we we live a a

[00:17:56.64 –> 00:18:00.80] fairly decent and a good life together

[00:17:58.44 –> 00:18:03.56] together we really do um I am a single

[00:18:00.80 –> 00:18:05.52] parent and I’m okay with being single uh

[00:18:03.56 –> 00:18:07.60] whenever she shows up she’ll show up I

[00:18:05.52 –> 00:18:09.28] ain’t worried about

[00:18:07.60 –> 00:18:12.64] it

[00:18:09.28 –> 00:18:13.92] um and uh I am very very grateful today

[00:18:12.64 –> 00:18:15.96] you know there’s a lot of things that I

[00:18:13.92 –> 00:18:17.76] could talk about I could talk all day

[00:18:15.96 –> 00:18:19.48] you know but one thing I do know about

[00:18:17.76 –> 00:18:21.04] addiction and one thing on one message I

[00:18:19.48 –> 00:18:26.20] want to send to anybody who’s struggling

[00:18:21.04 –> 00:18:28.36] with addiction you have to become

[00:18:26.20 –> 00:18:30.52] accountable you got to become respons

[00:18:28.36 –> 00:18:33.80] responsible which means the ability to

[00:18:30.52 –> 00:18:37.52] resp respond accountability the ability

[00:18:33.80 –> 00:18:39.52] to account for account for your actions

[00:18:37.52 –> 00:18:43.04] take responsibility of your own life you

[00:18:39.52 –> 00:18:44.96] have to take charge of your life nobody

[00:18:43.04 –> 00:18:47.48] can do it for you you have to want it

[00:18:44.96 –> 00:18:49.56] for yourself you have to you know and

[00:18:47.48 –> 00:18:52.04] for those out there listening I mean

[00:18:49.56 –> 00:18:55.16] remember I had blisters on my feet I

[00:18:52.04 –> 00:18:57.32] took a record uh a journal in jail it

[00:18:55.16 –> 00:19:02.00] took 75

[00:18:57.32 –> 00:19:04.76] days 75 days for me to be able to walk a

[00:19:02.00 –> 00:19:07.84] normal walk because of the blisters that

[00:19:04.76 –> 00:19:12.56] was on my feet took 75 days for my feet

[00:19:07.84 –> 00:19:15.72] to heal and that was 75 days of

[00:19:12.56 –> 00:19:17.56] incarceration okay for my feet to heal

[00:19:15.72 –> 00:19:20.24] so how long do you think it take for the

[00:19:17.56 –> 00:19:22.72] mind and the body to heal the mind it

[00:19:20.24 –> 00:19:24.44] takes you know uh some psychologists and

[00:19:22.72 –> 00:19:26.16] some scientists say it takes at least 18

[00:19:24.44 –> 00:19:28.04] months for the mind and the spirit to

[00:19:26.16 –> 00:19:31.08] reconnect or for the mind and the heart

[00:19:28.04 –> 00:19:32.08] and all those things that you can’t see

[00:19:31.08 –> 00:19:35.64] to

[00:19:32.08 –> 00:19:37.56] reconnect you know so um I’m here to

[00:19:35.64 –> 00:19:40.48] help and I want to help people I’m not

[00:19:37.56 –> 00:19:43.48] ashamed of anything that I’ve done I’m

[00:19:40.48 –> 00:19:45.80] not ashamed of of of the fact that I

[00:19:43.48 –> 00:19:48.16] used to live under a bridge I used to

[00:19:45.80 –> 00:19:49.92] live in a crack house I was in a crack

[00:19:48.16 –> 00:19:53.92] house one night laying on the floor on a

[00:19:49.92 –> 00:19:54.72] box spring sleep and something walked in

[00:19:53.92 –> 00:19:59.04] with

[00:19:54.72 –> 00:20:00.84] claws like big claws

[00:19:59.04 –> 00:20:02.96] and it tapped in it was sound like it

[00:20:00.84 –> 00:20:06.00] was tap dancing coming closer to me and

[00:20:02.96 –> 00:20:07.96] it was so dark in the crack house cuz I

[00:20:06.00 –> 00:20:09.92] been up seven eight nine 10 days in a

[00:20:07.96 –> 00:20:12.04] row and I was even too tired to get up

[00:20:09.92 –> 00:20:14.20] off the bed to fight off whatever

[00:20:12.04 –> 00:20:16.56] creature this was that had walked into

[00:20:14.20 –> 00:20:19.16] the crack house which was there was no

[00:20:16.56 –> 00:20:21.00] back door on the place so it was some

[00:20:19.16 –> 00:20:23.60] type of a large animal and then all I

[00:20:21.00 –> 00:20:26.40] could do was just scream at the top of

[00:20:23.60 –> 00:20:28.84] my lungs and when I did that the animal

[00:20:26.40 –> 00:20:31.72] ran out of the house but I was that was

[00:20:28.84 –> 00:20:34.52] the most fear that I’ve ever faced in my

[00:20:31.72 –> 00:20:37.28] entire life not not even afraid of guns

[00:20:34.52 –> 00:20:41.40] not afraid of knives not afraid of of

[00:20:37.28 –> 00:20:44.48] any of the violent confrontations that I

[00:20:41.40 –> 00:20:46.44] found myself caught up in through being

[00:20:44.48 –> 00:20:50.40] and living on the streets as a drug

[00:20:46.44 –> 00:20:52.36] addict you know um that was the biggest

[00:20:50.40 –> 00:20:53.48] fear I’ve never been so afraid in my

[00:20:52.36 –> 00:20:55.24] whole life because I didn’t know what

[00:20:53.48 –> 00:20:57.88] type of animal it was I couldn’t see it

[00:20:55.24 –> 00:20:59.76] it was too dark um and that was a very

[00:20:57.88 –> 00:21:02.48] very defining moment in my life where I

[00:20:59.76 –> 00:21:04.28] knew I had to make changes in my life um

[00:21:02.48 –> 00:21:07.56] and I’m I’m grateful I am very very

[00:21:04.28 –> 00:21:08.92] grateful today I am yes well it was

[00:21:07.56 –> 00:21:10.68] great to hear you say that you’re

[00:21:08.92 –> 00:21:13.52] grateful for yourself and that you

[00:21:10.68 –> 00:21:16.20] recognize the role that you played uh

[00:21:13.52 –> 00:21:18.04] because obviously like as you said it

[00:21:16.20 –> 00:21:20.84] you said it perfectly it doesn’t happen

[00:21:18.04 –> 00:21:23.00] if you don’t put in the work and you’ve

[00:21:20.84 –> 00:21:25.88] spent decades getting to this point

[00:21:23.00 –> 00:21:28.16] getting to this place where you can say

[00:21:25.88 –> 00:21:30.88] I I’m here I’ve done it you know I’m

[00:21:28.16 –> 00:21:33.60] proud of of what I’ve got and now and

[00:21:30.88 –> 00:21:36.80] you’re also a peer specialist so you’ve

[00:21:33.60 –> 00:21:39.28] decided to support others what led you

[00:21:36.80 –> 00:21:41.56] to become uh a peer

[00:21:39.28 –> 00:21:43.72] specialist um that’s a great question

[00:21:41.56 –> 00:21:47.08] thank you for asking I I somewhere deep

[00:21:43.72 –> 00:21:50.76] down inside of me I’ve always wanted to

[00:21:47.08 –> 00:21:53.08] counsel and help people always even even

[00:21:50.76 –> 00:21:55.44] when I was on the streets living that

[00:21:53.08 –> 00:21:56.52] life I would still give people advice

[00:21:55.44 –> 00:21:58.08] even though I’m doing the same thing

[00:21:56.52 –> 00:21:59.76] they’re doing you know I would still

[00:21:58.08 –> 00:22:01.48] still give people advice and people

[00:21:59.76 –> 00:22:03.00] would still like from a addict to an

[00:22:01.48 –> 00:22:04.72] addict they was like man you know thank

[00:22:03.00 –> 00:22:06.12] you man I’m glad that you know I’m glad

[00:22:04.72 –> 00:22:07.64] that we met and I’m glad that you know

[00:22:06.12 –> 00:22:09.28] we can you know do this peacefully

[00:22:07.64 –> 00:22:12.00] because we’re we’re slowly committing

[00:22:09.28 –> 00:22:14.08] suicide you know one drug One Drug at a

[00:22:12.00 –> 00:22:17.00] time and I was still able

[00:22:14.08 –> 00:22:19.32] to help people have some kind of calm

[00:22:17.00 –> 00:22:23.24] and resolve even in the fact of getting

[00:22:19.32 –> 00:22:25.52] high so um while I was in federal prison

[00:22:23.24 –> 00:22:28.80] I went to Bible College and I graduated

[00:22:25.52 –> 00:22:31.84] from Bible College with all A’s and and

[00:22:28.80 –> 00:22:35.04] um studying the book uh of Proverbs and

[00:22:31.84 –> 00:22:37.72] the songs of Solomon and Ecclesiastes

[00:22:35.04 –> 00:22:39.20] those things and those wise sayings are

[00:22:37.72 –> 00:22:41.20] things that actually stuck near and dear

[00:22:39.20 –> 00:22:43.80] to my heart so I knew deep down inside

[00:22:41.20 –> 00:22:46.04] that I had this counseling spirit so I

[00:22:43.80 –> 00:22:48.84] just needed to find out how to get into

[00:22:46.04 –> 00:22:50.92] it and I did by doing an online search

[00:22:48.84 –> 00:22:52.88] and search and uh I got in touch with

[00:22:50.92 –> 00:22:55.52] the New York uh New York Association of

[00:22:52.88 –> 00:22:56.84] peer Specialists and I contacted and I

[00:22:55.52 –> 00:22:59.00] called and got this lady on the phone

[00:22:56.84 –> 00:23:00.24] and told her my story and she said I’m

[00:22:59.00 –> 00:23:01.92] going to send you the links and blah

[00:23:00.24 –> 00:23:04.32] blah blah blah and we’ll get all this

[00:23:01.92 –> 00:23:06.32] started and I got it all started and

[00:23:04.32 –> 00:23:07.92] I’ve been a certified pure specialist

[00:23:06.32 –> 00:23:11.60] since

[00:23:07.92 –> 00:23:14.04] 2017 since 2017 and since then I’ve got

[00:23:11.60 –> 00:23:17.40] my serper certifications which is uh I’m

[00:23:14.04 –> 00:23:18.96] a recovery coach I’ve got my mat

[00:23:17.40 –> 00:23:21.36] certifications which is medically

[00:23:18.96 –> 00:23:22.80] assisted treatment for people who go uh

[00:23:21.36 –> 00:23:25.64] through uh methodone clinics and things

[00:23:22.80 –> 00:23:26.52] of that nature and I’m also a certified

[00:23:25.64 –> 00:23:28.48] personal

[00:23:26.52 –> 00:23:31.56] trainer um

[00:23:28.48 –> 00:23:36.12] in uh in Fitness because we are all mind

[00:23:31.56 –> 00:23:37.72] body and spirit yes yes yes mind body

[00:23:36.12 –> 00:23:39.44] and spirit that’s what it’s all about

[00:23:37.72 –> 00:23:40.64] you got to have that balance once you

[00:23:39.44 –> 00:23:43.20] get that

[00:23:40.64 –> 00:23:45.68] balance I mean you get that balance and

[00:23:43.20 –> 00:23:48.68] you stay in Balance it’s it’s it’s the

[00:23:45.68 –> 00:23:50.48] most beautiful feeling in the world um

[00:23:48.68 –> 00:23:52.28] another thing that I want to you know

[00:23:50.48 –> 00:23:55.76] add to this and I’m very very grateful

[00:23:52.28 –> 00:23:58.68] to God that I have a clean bill of

[00:23:55.76 –> 00:24:00.44] health 100% when you’re health healthy

[00:23:58.68 –> 00:24:02.20] you’re wealthy when you’re healthy

[00:24:00.44 –> 00:24:04.32] you’re wealthy I tell people that all

[00:24:02.20 –> 00:24:06.52] the time it’s it’s more important than

[00:24:04.32 –> 00:24:10.40] having a whole bunch of money if you’re

[00:24:06.52 –> 00:24:13.24] healthy you’re wealthy yeah so

[00:24:10.40 –> 00:24:15.72] um uh with that being said you know it’s

[00:24:13.24 –> 00:24:17.96] just it’s a beautiful thing if am I

[00:24:15.72 –> 00:24:21.24] remembering correctly you also have a a

[00:24:17.96 –> 00:24:24.32] a certificate in parenting guidance or

[00:24:21.24 –> 00:24:25.92] or helping with dads can you clarify

[00:24:24.32 –> 00:24:29.56] what that training is that you’ve done

[00:24:25.92 –> 00:24:32.68] oh yeah I do I I I’m I’m I’m what you

[00:24:29.56 –> 00:24:35.48] call a certified reading father so I

[00:24:32.68 –> 00:24:37.64] went through U two two or three

[00:24:35.48 –> 00:24:39.04] parenting programs I have so many

[00:24:37.64 –> 00:24:42.48] credentials I I don’t even want to pull

[00:24:39.04 –> 00:24:44.88] them out right now um I am uh one of the

[00:24:42.48 –> 00:24:47.16] I I would love to help guys be able to

[00:24:44.88 –> 00:24:48.56] reach their children through Reading

[00:24:47.16 –> 00:24:51.60] that’s one of the best things you can do

[00:24:48.56 –> 00:24:54.04] to your children is read to them um my

[00:24:51.60 –> 00:24:56.00] uh my kids are very very Avid readers

[00:24:54.04 –> 00:24:58.16] and it’s because when they were infants

[00:24:56.00 –> 00:25:00.24] I read to them all the way to to todders

[00:24:58.16 –> 00:25:02.48] as they were toddlers read read read and

[00:25:00.24 –> 00:25:05.52] I would use animated voices and animated

[00:25:02.48 –> 00:25:08.72] phrases to keep their attention um my

[00:25:05.52 –> 00:25:11.68] daughter is uh 11 and she is student

[00:25:08.72 –> 00:25:14.68] council president of over 600 kids she’s

[00:25:11.68 –> 00:25:17.52] only 11 years old so and as you can see

[00:25:14.68 –> 00:25:23.28] the medals behind me she’s a level five

[00:25:17.52 –> 00:25:26.40] gymnast she’s won over 70 medals over um

[00:25:23.28 –> 00:25:31.56] 15 trophies trophies all up here behind

[00:25:26.40 –> 00:25:34.76] me and uh my son uh won um MVP in

[00:25:31.56 –> 00:25:37.24] basketball he’s got a gymnastics trophy

[00:25:34.76 –> 00:25:40.96] as well for five years as a gymnast for

[00:25:37.24 –> 00:25:43.92] my son and they are doing absolutely

[00:25:40.96 –> 00:25:45.92] great they’re doing great um and uh

[00:25:43.92 –> 00:25:47.56] that’s the result of you give thanks to

[00:25:45.92 –> 00:25:50.00] God for that again for keeping me

[00:25:47.56 –> 00:25:51.92] focused keeping me focused you know and

[00:25:50.00 –> 00:25:53.84] and again you know it was the addiction

[00:25:51.92 –> 00:25:57.00] the addiction going through those years

[00:25:53.84 –> 00:25:59.16] of addiction and being on the street

[00:25:57.00 –> 00:26:01.76] being complete completely lonely being

[00:25:59.16 –> 00:26:03.64] completely hopeless being completely

[00:26:01.76 –> 00:26:05.12] drained it was one time when I was

[00:26:03.64 –> 00:26:07.24] walking the street and I had this pain

[00:26:05.12 –> 00:26:09.12] in my back and in my kidneys I thought

[00:26:07.24 –> 00:26:10.40] that I was going to drop dead I was

[00:26:09.12 –> 00:26:12.12] laying in the bed thinking about it the

[00:26:10.40 –> 00:26:14.24] other night I felt like I was going to

[00:26:12.12 –> 00:26:16.28] drop dead because I knew my kidneys had

[00:26:14.24 –> 00:26:18.96] just been dried out from all the you

[00:26:16.28 –> 00:26:21.60] know smoking crack and drinking because

[00:26:18.96 –> 00:26:24.36] alcohol was my

[00:26:21.60 –> 00:26:27.68] breakfast my breakfast was alcohol

[00:26:24.36 –> 00:26:29.76] period and and from there I would find

[00:26:27.68 –> 00:26:31.44] whoever the biggest drug dealer was I

[00:26:29.76 –> 00:26:33.64] would find him and me and him became

[00:26:31.44 –> 00:26:36.32] best friends that’s just the way I did

[00:26:33.64 –> 00:26:38.88] things um so the way that I’m doing my

[00:26:36.32 –> 00:26:41.36] sobriety is I’m putting all that energy

[00:26:38.88 –> 00:26:44.12] that I put into getting high and being

[00:26:41.36 –> 00:26:46.28] on the streets I putting all that energy

[00:26:44.12 –> 00:26:50.40] and reverse that energy and put it into

[00:26:46.28 –> 00:26:52.20] raising my kids staying focused uh self

[00:26:50.40 –> 00:26:55.16] first self-preservation is the first law

[00:26:52.20 –> 00:26:57.20] of nature self first right because just

[00:26:55.16 –> 00:26:59.76] like when you on an airplane if you run

[00:26:57.20 –> 00:27:02.20] out of oxygen if the air if the aircraft

[00:26:59.76 –> 00:27:04.92] loses oxygen you need to give yourself

[00:27:02.20 –> 00:27:07.32] oxygen first before you give it to your

[00:27:04.92 –> 00:27:09.72] kids because if you give it to your kids

[00:27:07.32 –> 00:27:12.32] first and you die how you GNA take care

[00:27:09.72 –> 00:27:14.88] of your kids right so you got to take

[00:27:12.32 –> 00:27:17.32] care of yourself first and then take

[00:27:14.88 –> 00:27:19.32] care of everything else uh in your close

[00:27:17.32 –> 00:27:22.04] uh circumference and the people that you

[00:27:19.32 –> 00:27:24.20] love um so but yeah thank you for that I

[00:27:22.04 –> 00:27:27.28] am a certified reading father I like I

[00:27:24.20 –> 00:27:29.00] like being a reading father I really do

[00:27:27.28 –> 00:27:31.84] yes

[00:27:29.00 –> 00:27:35.16] an amazing additional service that you

[00:27:31.84 –> 00:27:38.76] can offer right I mean so just kind of

[00:27:35.16 –> 00:27:41.72] taking all in you’ve been through um

[00:27:38.76 –> 00:27:44.80] incarceration long-term incarceration

[00:27:41.72 –> 00:27:47.80] you’ve been unhoused you’ve gone through

[00:27:44.80 –> 00:27:50.92] substance use you’ve had to you know

[00:27:47.80 –> 00:27:53.16] you’re a single parent all these things

[00:27:50.92 –> 00:27:56.28] are are contributing to what you have to

[00:27:53.16 –> 00:27:59.00] offer to others as you deliver pure

[00:27:56.28 –> 00:28:01.96] Services is there anything else that um

[00:27:59.00 –> 00:28:04.56] you particularly like to help people

[00:28:01.96 –> 00:28:06.00] with that you want people to know yeah

[00:28:04.56 –> 00:28:07.56] because I would I would like to help

[00:28:06.00 –> 00:28:09.64] people because I want to I want to not

[00:28:07.56 –> 00:28:12.48] just treat the symptom of addiction I

[00:28:09.64 –> 00:28:13.76] want to get down to the bottom of what

[00:28:12.48 –> 00:28:15.32] is the root

[00:28:13.76 –> 00:28:18.88] cause

[00:28:15.32 –> 00:28:20.32] of you know you still keep going out or

[00:28:18.88 –> 00:28:22.04] you still keep going to rehab and keep

[00:28:20.32 –> 00:28:24.88] relapsing and over and over and over so

[00:28:22.04 –> 00:28:27.80] I want to get to what is the life Trap

[00:28:24.88 –> 00:28:31.28] or what is the generational curse that’s

[00:28:27.80 –> 00:28:32.72] causing you to keep getting high because

[00:28:31.28 –> 00:28:35.84] there is a root

[00:28:32.72 –> 00:28:37.80] cause and uh the thing that I want to do

[00:28:35.84 –> 00:28:39.96] and with the people that come to me for

[00:28:37.80 –> 00:28:42.72] help they come with a willing and an

[00:28:39.96 –> 00:28:44.56] open heart and with with with truth and

[00:28:42.72 –> 00:28:46.56] honesty and being completely candid

[00:28:44.56 –> 00:28:48.36] about everything I think that I can help

[00:28:46.56 –> 00:28:51.64] them because I want to I want to get to

[00:28:48.36 –> 00:28:54.28] the root of of why why why does get in

[00:28:51.64 –> 00:28:56.36] high bring you so much so much release

[00:28:54.28 –> 00:28:58.12] because for me like I said the

[00:28:56.36 –> 00:28:59.76] abandonment life Trap I suffered for

[00:28:58.12 –> 00:29:02.00] years getting high because I felt

[00:28:59.76 –> 00:29:03.20] abandoned for years I would get high I

[00:29:02.00 –> 00:29:05.80] didn’t even care what nobody thought

[00:29:03.20 –> 00:29:07.92] about me but at the same time I did care

[00:29:05.80 –> 00:29:09.88] because I stayed hid I stayed hid from

[00:29:07.92 –> 00:29:11.72] the public because the only people that

[00:29:09.88 –> 00:29:13.60] respect drug dealers is other drug

[00:29:11.72 –> 00:29:15.84] dealers and the only people that really

[00:29:13.60 –> 00:29:17.64] respect the drug dealers is drug users

[00:29:15.84 –> 00:29:19.76] but still there’s there’s really no

[00:29:17.64 –> 00:29:20.96] respect in that because what are you

[00:29:19.76 –> 00:29:23.12] doing you’re aiding and ab betting with

[00:29:20.96 –> 00:29:25.76] killing each other so it’s really not

[00:29:23.12 –> 00:29:28.20] even true respect anyway so um I want to

[00:29:25.76 –> 00:29:30.92] get to the root of the problem

[00:29:28.20 –> 00:29:32.28] which starts with self starts with self

[00:29:30.92 –> 00:29:34.40] and let’s find out what’s really going

[00:29:32.28 –> 00:29:37.12] on deep down inside and and that’s the

[00:29:34.40 –> 00:29:40.92] key to getting clean and staying clean

[00:29:37.12 –> 00:29:44.20] and staying focused yes yes one thing I

[00:29:40.92 –> 00:29:47.60] want to show you too hold on yeah these

[00:29:44.20 –> 00:29:49.68] are this is one of the books that I use

[00:29:47.60 –> 00:29:51.52] it’s called

[00:29:49.68 –> 00:29:56.20] Reinventing Your

[00:29:51.52 –> 00:29:59.16] Life okay and in this book you learn how

[00:29:56.20 –> 00:30:02.84] to you create create a more positive and

[00:29:59.16 –> 00:30:05.80] a more productive environment so it’s

[00:30:02.84 –> 00:30:08.52] all about your environment what’s going

[00:30:05.80 –> 00:30:10.40] on in your environment what do you allow

[00:30:08.52 –> 00:30:12.80] you know in your home around your

[00:30:10.40 –> 00:30:15.20] children or what do you say what type of

[00:30:12.80 –> 00:30:17.08] things do you say what type of music see

[00:30:15.20 –> 00:30:20.00] what type of music do you listen to what

[00:30:17.08 –> 00:30:22.88] type of movies do you watch on TV like

[00:30:20.00 –> 00:30:24.56] me for instance I don’t watch any movies

[00:30:22.88 –> 00:30:26.72] have to do with Gangsta or Gangsta

[00:30:24.56 –> 00:30:28.80] lifestyle or any movies that have to do

[00:30:26.72 –> 00:30:30.64] with drugs in a drug lifestyle I don’t

[00:30:28.80 –> 00:30:32.72] watch them I don’t care how good they

[00:30:30.64 –> 00:30:33.96] are I don’t care what the ratings are I

[00:30:32.72 –> 00:30:37.48] don’t watch them because it’s not good

[00:30:33.96 –> 00:30:40.32] for my soul because it makes me it makes

[00:30:37.48 –> 00:30:42.60] me relive what I’ve already been through

[00:30:40.32 –> 00:30:44.60] you know and then and then I don’t I

[00:30:42.60 –> 00:30:45.80] don’t think it’s not up to me to decide

[00:30:44.60 –> 00:30:47.68] but I don’t think things of that nature

[00:30:45.80 –> 00:30:49.64] should be glamorized because a lot of

[00:30:47.68 –> 00:30:51.32] people don’t know the downside to

[00:30:49.64 –> 00:30:53.72] becoming a drug dealer they don’t know

[00:30:51.32 –> 00:30:57.40] the downside to it they just think it’s

[00:30:53.72 –> 00:30:58.84] cool right so um and another thing I

[00:30:57.40 –> 00:31:00.84] want to teach people how to develop a

[00:30:58.84 –> 00:31:02.88] very fulfilling relationship even though

[00:31:00.84 –> 00:31:04.60] I’m single I can still tell you how to

[00:31:02.88 –> 00:31:06.32] develop a good relationship and some

[00:31:04.60 –> 00:31:08.32] people like man how can you do that and

[00:31:06.32 –> 00:31:12.44] you’re single

[00:31:08.32 –> 00:31:16.32] easy easy knowledge wisdom understanding

[00:31:12.44 –> 00:31:19.92] you know um teaching people how to

[00:31:16.32 –> 00:31:20.68] energize and transform their lives from

[00:31:19.92 –> 00:31:22.24] the

[00:31:20.68 –> 00:31:24.60] inside

[00:31:22.24 –> 00:31:25.76] out because you need to go through a

[00:31:24.60 –> 00:31:27.60] complete

[00:31:25.76 –> 00:31:29.76] transformation and there’s going to be

[00:31:27.60 –> 00:31:31.08] people who going to say like certain

[00:31:29.76 –> 00:31:33.72] family members said to me or you think

[00:31:31.08 –> 00:31:35.32] you’re better than us or they were I had

[00:31:33.72 –> 00:31:36.80] family members post nasty things about

[00:31:35.32 –> 00:31:38.96] me on Facebook things that weren’t even

[00:31:36.80 –> 00:31:41.40] true all

[00:31:38.96 –> 00:31:43.84] because they don’t share in my dreams

[00:31:41.40 –> 00:31:45.44] and goals they don’t see the calling

[00:31:43.84 –> 00:31:49.28] that God has put on my life they don’t

[00:31:45.44 –> 00:31:53.32] see that so instead of joining me they

[00:31:49.28 –> 00:31:55.52] get jealous you know so um and it’s okay

[00:31:53.32 –> 00:31:57.48] I still love them I still love them but

[00:31:55.52 –> 00:32:00.44] at the same time I generate my energy

[00:31:57.48 –> 00:32:02.92] towards my children I don’t focus on uh

[00:32:00.44 –> 00:32:05.68] who who I don’t focus on who I don’t

[00:32:02.92 –> 00:32:07.12] need to be validated that’s the thing

[00:32:05.68 –> 00:32:09.20] and that’s one of the things that we go

[00:32:07.12 –> 00:32:11.28] through in addiction is that we seek

[00:32:09.20 –> 00:32:12.76] validation from other people you can

[00:32:11.28 –> 00:32:14.16] grow out of that you don’t need to be

[00:32:12.76 –> 00:32:16.08] validated if you’re doing the right

[00:32:14.16 –> 00:32:18.76] thing nobody needs to know that you’re

[00:32:16.08 –> 00:32:19.84] doing the right thing but you keep doing

[00:32:18.76 –> 00:32:21.96] the right thing you don’t need to tell

[00:32:19.84 –> 00:32:24.00] nobody oh I’ve been clean for 10 years

[00:32:21.96 –> 00:32:26.04] or I’ve been clean for three days or

[00:32:24.00 –> 00:32:27.28] I’ve been clean for 30 days and you

[00:32:26.04 –> 00:32:28.32] don’t need to go around and tell

[00:32:27.28 –> 00:32:29.52] everybody you’ve been clean you don’t

[00:32:28.32 –> 00:32:31.92] need to tell everybody you just got out

[00:32:29.52 –> 00:32:34.32] of rehab keep it to yourself until it

[00:32:31.92 –> 00:32:36.64] becomes true for you it becomes a

[00:32:34.32 –> 00:32:38.56] reality because some people still

[00:32:36.64 –> 00:32:41.72] looking for that pat on the

[00:32:38.56 –> 00:32:43.80] back and me when I stop searching for

[00:32:41.72 –> 00:32:46.48] that pat on the back is really your ego

[00:32:43.80 –> 00:32:51.28] you have that big big ego and the word

[00:32:46.48 –> 00:32:54.16] ego means edging God out edging God out

[00:32:51.28 –> 00:32:55.92] drop the ego humble

[00:32:54.16 –> 00:32:58.16] yourselves and that’s when you get

[00:32:55.92 –> 00:33:00.12] exalted you get you get exalted mentally

[00:32:58.16 –> 00:33:02.76] you get exalted spiritually you get

[00:33:00.12 –> 00:33:05.00] exalted physically emotionally you get

[00:33:02.76 –> 00:33:08.64] exalted the exaltation will come you’ll

[00:33:05.00 –> 00:33:10.68] feel so much better about yourself so um

[00:33:08.64 –> 00:33:13.44] I want to help people also deal with

[00:33:10.68 –> 00:33:16.28] anxiety because anxiety starts here

[00:33:13.44 –> 00:33:18.76] starts right here you heard the saying

[00:33:16.28 –> 00:33:22.00] you turn a a mole hill into a mountain

[00:33:18.76 –> 00:33:24.64] it starts with what you’re thinking okay

[00:33:22.00 –> 00:33:25.96] um help people get out of being fearful

[00:33:24.64 –> 00:33:28.32] because a lot of people just live in

[00:33:25.96 –> 00:33:29.48] fear they live in fear you know I used

[00:33:28.32 –> 00:33:31.28] to be one of the people who lived in

[00:33:29.48 –> 00:33:32.68] fear I wouldn’t go in certain places or

[00:33:31.28 –> 00:33:34.68] do certain things because I was just

[00:33:32.68 –> 00:33:37.84] afraid even though I didn’t look a

[00:33:34.68 –> 00:33:40.88] afraid I was afraid so I would had out

[00:33:37.84 –> 00:33:44.56] in these crack dens crack houses uh uh

[00:33:40.88 –> 00:33:47.56] drug houses uh liquor houses um I always

[00:33:44.56 –> 00:33:50.48] stayed on uh what we could we can call

[00:33:47.56 –> 00:33:53.08] the dark side of life because I was

[00:33:50.48 –> 00:33:55.28] afraid to come into the light I was

[00:33:53.08 –> 00:33:56.80] afraid I knew I had the intelligence I

[00:33:55.28 –> 00:33:58.96] knew I had the knowledge I knew I had

[00:33:56.80 –> 00:34:01.48] the the wisdom the smarts whatever I

[00:33:58.96 –> 00:34:04.24] knew I had it I was just afraid to use

[00:34:01.48 –> 00:34:06.80] it I was afraid to use it from that fear

[00:34:04.24 –> 00:34:08.72] of rejection see that rejection can be

[00:34:06.80 –> 00:34:11.00] somebody’s life Trap they’re afraid that

[00:34:08.72 –> 00:34:13.76] people are going to reject them you know

[00:34:11.00 –> 00:34:15.48] but you got to stop rejecting yourself

[00:34:13.76 –> 00:34:17.48] stop rejecting yourself and stop

[00:34:15.48 –> 00:34:19.16] thinking that everybody’s thinking about

[00:34:17.48 –> 00:34:20.24] you because a lot of people aren’t even

[00:34:19.16 –> 00:34:23.20] thinking about you a lot of people don’t

[00:34:20.24 –> 00:34:25.64] even care they really don’t a lot of

[00:34:23.20 –> 00:34:27.76] people don’t even care they really don’t

[00:34:25.64 –> 00:34:29.56] um and which is a sad thing and and and

[00:34:27.76 –> 00:34:30.92] I’m saying that and I mean it because a

[00:34:29.56 –> 00:34:32.64] lot of people really don’t care because

[00:34:30.92 –> 00:34:33.88] you’re we’re we’re focus and wasting

[00:34:32.64 –> 00:34:36.08] time what other people think about us

[00:34:33.88 –> 00:34:39.40] and they really don’t even care they

[00:34:36.08 –> 00:34:41.84] really don’t so um a lot of us have a

[00:34:39.40 –> 00:34:44.08] lot of self-defeating

[00:34:41.84 –> 00:34:47.00] behaviors and and and what it means it’s

[00:34:44.08 –> 00:34:49.72] a self defeating Behavior so what we do

[00:34:47.00 –> 00:34:50.76] is we sabotage all the good things that

[00:34:49.72 –> 00:34:53.12] come our

[00:34:50.76 –> 00:34:54.52] way because we’re defeating ourselves no

[00:34:53.12 –> 00:34:56.48] one else is doing it we’re doing it to

[00:34:54.52 –> 00:34:58.88] ourselves you know there’s a rap group

[00:34:56.48 –> 00:35:00.84] long time ago named Houdini I don’t know

[00:34:58.88 –> 00:35:03.96] if you remember withy but Houdini they

[00:35:00.84 –> 00:35:06.84] had a song called you brought it on

[00:35:03.96 –> 00:35:08.12] yourself I think it was Houdini yeah I

[00:35:06.84 –> 00:35:10.48] think it was Houdini you brought it on

[00:35:08.12 –> 00:35:12.60] yourself was the name of the song uh so

[00:35:10.48 –> 00:35:13.80] a lot of things that we do and a lot of

[00:35:12.60 –> 00:35:16.20] things that we go through we actually

[00:35:13.80 –> 00:35:20.00] bring those things on ourselves by the

[00:35:16.20 –> 00:35:22.48] choices that we make so um again I I’m

[00:35:20.00 –> 00:35:24.52] here today I want to help as many people

[00:35:22.48 –> 00:35:26.88] as I possibly can I want to get down to

[00:35:24.52 –> 00:35:28.64] the root of the problem get down to the

[00:35:26.88 –> 00:35:30.80] life Trap get down to the generational

[00:35:28.64 –> 00:35:32.40] curse that’s passed on from generation

[00:35:30.80 –> 00:35:34.36] to generation you know I’ve been on the

[00:35:32.40 –> 00:35:35.96] streets with guys who say you know my

[00:35:34.36 –> 00:35:38.68] daddy used to sell drugs and my daddy

[00:35:35.96 –> 00:35:40.64] got killed right here on this corner see

[00:35:38.68 –> 00:35:41.96] to some people they was like damn so if

[00:35:40.64 –> 00:35:44.24] your daddy just got killed on this

[00:35:41.96 –> 00:35:46.80] corner why you on the same Corner I’ve

[00:35:44.24 –> 00:35:49.44] been incarcerated with guys Father and

[00:35:46.80 –> 00:35:52.44] Son both had life sentences in the same

[00:35:49.44 –> 00:35:54.80] prison I’ve seen it with my own eyes you

[00:35:52.44 –> 00:35:56.32] know but it’s that generational thing

[00:35:54.80 –> 00:35:57.76] you know and and if you don’t change the

[00:35:56.32 –> 00:36:01.56] way you think

[00:35:57.76 –> 00:36:03.32] nothing changes nothing will change and

[00:36:01.56 –> 00:36:06.84] you know uh

[00:36:03.32 –> 00:36:10.20] coming the thinking the the messaging we

[00:36:06.84 –> 00:36:12.60] tell ourselves a lot of times there’s uh

[00:36:10.20 –> 00:36:14.72] stigma that people internalize right

[00:36:12.60 –> 00:36:18.56] things they hear others saying that they

[00:36:14.72 –> 00:36:20.92] say yeah I am just an that addict or or

[00:36:18.56 –> 00:36:23.72] whatever you know degrading thing

[00:36:20.92 –> 00:36:26.40] they’ve heard and and put on themselves

[00:36:23.72 –> 00:36:29.04] what would be what would you like to say

[00:36:26.40 –> 00:36:30.72] to challenge stigma and I mean it can be

[00:36:29.04 –> 00:36:33.44] stigma for anything because we know it’s

[00:36:30.72 –> 00:36:36.24] out there based on so many different

[00:36:33.44 –> 00:36:38.44] factors you know what the first thing

[00:36:36.24 –> 00:36:41.72] you have to realize that stigmas were

[00:36:38.44 –> 00:36:43.04] stigmas are created by people who are

[00:36:41.72 –> 00:36:45.32] I’ll say the word when you say you’re

[00:36:43.04 –> 00:36:48.44] trying to belittle somebody you’re

[00:36:45.32 –> 00:36:51.00] actually being little yourself because

[00:36:48.44 –> 00:36:52.36] if you have to belittle somebody that

[00:36:51.00 –> 00:36:53.32] means that there’s something going on

[00:36:52.36 –> 00:36:56.32] with

[00:36:53.32 –> 00:36:59.52] you there’s something going on with you

[00:36:56.32 –> 00:37:02.36] that you have to make this man or this

[00:36:59.52 –> 00:37:04.36] woman feel bad about themselves and even

[00:37:02.36 –> 00:37:07.08] to the point where they start saying it

[00:37:04.36 –> 00:37:09.44] to themselves you know or like I’ve

[00:37:07.08 –> 00:37:11.92] heard I’ve heard females say I’m a

[00:37:09.44 –> 00:37:13.80] junkie and I’m G be a junkie till I die

[00:37:11.92 –> 00:37:16.36] I’ve heard men say the same thing I’m a

[00:37:13.80 –> 00:37:18.72] junkie and I’mma Be a junkie till I die

[00:37:16.36 –> 00:37:20.04] I’ve heard him say these things and the

[00:37:18.72 –> 00:37:22.24] whole time I’m standing right there with

[00:37:20.04 –> 00:37:24.96] him and I’m like I’m not I’m not saying

[00:37:22.24 –> 00:37:27.72] that I’m that I just in my mind even

[00:37:24.96 –> 00:37:29.36] though I’m getting high too I’m not

[00:37:27.72 –> 00:37:32.16] saying nothing I’m not even going to

[00:37:29.36 –> 00:37:35.76] vocalize and give life to that right so

[00:37:32.16 –> 00:37:38.36] when it comes to stigmas stigmas are are

[00:37:35.76 –> 00:37:41.12] very terrible uh and once again like I

[00:37:38.36 –> 00:37:42.48] said stigmas are created by people who

[00:37:41.12 –> 00:37:44.68] people who don’t realize that one day

[00:37:42.48 –> 00:37:46.08] they’re going to die too and people who

[00:37:44.68 –> 00:37:47.36] don’t realize that all the money that

[00:37:46.08 –> 00:37:49.24] they have or whatever it is that they

[00:37:47.36 –> 00:37:51.88] might have over you it doesn’t make you

[00:37:49.24 –> 00:37:54.36] a better person it does not make you a

[00:37:51.88 –> 00:37:56.72] better person you know and and and and

[00:37:54.36 –> 00:37:59.64] again getting back to the self-defeating

[00:37:56.72 –> 00:38:02.24] behaviors is because some of us that’s

[00:37:59.64 –> 00:38:04.44] caught up in addiction we hold on to the

[00:38:02.24 –> 00:38:05.80] stigmas we hold on to the stigmas and

[00:38:04.44 –> 00:38:07.68] the negative things that people say

[00:38:05.80 –> 00:38:09.24] about us you know and we let those

[00:38:07.68 –> 00:38:12.08] things continue to beat us down because

[00:38:09.24 –> 00:38:14.68] we say oh well I’m no good anyway so I

[00:38:12.08 –> 00:38:15.80] might as well go and keep getting high I

[00:38:14.68 –> 00:38:18.16] might as well you know and those

[00:38:15.80 –> 00:38:20.60] feelings of insecurity you’re very very

[00:38:18.16 –> 00:38:22.20] insecure those feelings of rejection

[00:38:20.60 –> 00:38:23.80] those feelings of rejection you know so

[00:38:22.20 –> 00:38:26.80] what you have to do is you have to tell

[00:38:23.80 –> 00:38:29.60] yourself I am here for a purpose I’m

[00:38:26.80 –> 00:38:33.84] still alive I’m not dead yet I’m not

[00:38:29.60 –> 00:38:36.56] dead yet so what must I do what must I

[00:38:33.84 –> 00:38:39.32] say say good things about yourself even

[00:38:36.56 –> 00:38:40.80] if like it says fake it till you make it

[00:38:39.32 –> 00:38:42.84] fake it till you make it start telling

[00:38:40.80 –> 00:38:44.76] yourself these wonderful things just

[00:38:42.84 –> 00:38:47.68] keep saying it over and over and over

[00:38:44.76 –> 00:38:49.24] and change change comes it comes because

[00:38:47.68 –> 00:38:51.76] we can speak with the power of the

[00:38:49.24 –> 00:38:54.68] tongue we can speak death to ourselves

[00:38:51.76 –> 00:38:57.84] or to others or we can speak life into

[00:38:54.68 –> 00:39:00.40] ourself and to other people so uh in my

[00:38:57.84 –> 00:39:03.84] household uh my my kids we don’t say the

[00:39:00.40 –> 00:39:07.36] word can’t we have a can do can do

[00:39:03.84 –> 00:39:10.08] attitude because it’s your attitude

[00:39:07.36 –> 00:39:12.96] about yourself your attitude about life

[00:39:10.08 –> 00:39:16.20] your attitude about even other people

[00:39:12.96 –> 00:39:19.08] that determines your altitude attitude

[00:39:16.20 –> 00:39:21.36] determines altitude so you know these

[00:39:19.08 –> 00:39:24.24] stigmas is is is just like I said it’s

[00:39:21.36 –> 00:39:26.88] other people trying to belittle other

[00:39:24.24 –> 00:39:29.36] people but again they’re just being

[00:39:26.88 –> 00:39:30.64] little themselves because some people

[00:39:29.36 –> 00:39:32.20] that’s the only way they can feel good

[00:39:30.64 –> 00:39:33.84] about themselves is to put somebody else

[00:39:32.20 –> 00:39:35.84] down just like someone who’s verbally

[00:39:33.84 –> 00:39:39.24] abusive they’re verbally abusive because

[00:39:35.84 –> 00:39:42.12] it makes them feel better by verbally

[00:39:39.24 –> 00:39:43.76] abusing you but we got to stop the

[00:39:42.12 –> 00:39:45.88] self-defeating behaviors we got to stop

[00:39:43.76 –> 00:39:49.16] putting ourselves down so my final

[00:39:45.88 –> 00:39:51.16] question for you then uh and we ask

[00:39:49.16 –> 00:39:53.08] every peer this because there will be

[00:39:51.16 –> 00:39:55.32] someone who’s listening to your

[00:39:53.08 –> 00:39:57.84] interview and it’s resonating with them

[00:39:55.32 –> 00:40:00.44] and they’re going through a hard time

[00:39:57.84 –> 00:40:02.48] what would you want that person to hear

[00:40:00.44 –> 00:40:05.20] I would want them to hear that that that

[00:40:02.48 –> 00:40:07.04] the cycle can be broken you got to know

[00:40:05.20 –> 00:40:08.56] it’s just a cycle it says that

[00:40:07.04 –> 00:40:12.44] everything that happens in life happens

[00:40:08.56 –> 00:40:14.16] for a reason for a season okay and we

[00:40:12.44 –> 00:40:16.04] want to drop the part off for a lifetime

[00:40:14.16 –> 00:40:18.32] because the lifetime you got to remember

[00:40:16.04 –> 00:40:20.88] that the best years of your life are

[00:40:18.32 –> 00:40:23.20] ahead of you not behind you that they’re

[00:40:20.88 –> 00:40:26.60] in front of you you know in in a in in

[00:40:23.20 –> 00:40:27.84] your car you have a rearview mirror and

[00:40:26.60 –> 00:40:30.04] when you look in the rear your mirror

[00:40:27.84 –> 00:40:32.00] everything in that mirror is small but

[00:40:30.04 –> 00:40:35.32] when you look out your out your front

[00:40:32.00 –> 00:40:37.52] windshield it’s big it’s big so you can

[00:40:35.32 –> 00:40:41.16] see everything all spacious because

[00:40:37.52 –> 00:40:42.36] that’s how big your future is you look

[00:40:41.16 –> 00:40:44.16] at things in the rearview mirror they

[00:40:42.36 –> 00:40:46.20] get smaller as you drive and keep

[00:40:44.16 –> 00:40:49.36] looking it gets smaller and smaller and

[00:40:46.20 –> 00:40:53.04] smaller so you have to leave the pass

[00:40:49.36 –> 00:40:54.60] behind you got to start over start fresh

[00:40:53.04 –> 00:40:56.88] uh some people some people want to hold

[00:40:54.60 –> 00:40:58.52] on to these phone numbers they want to

[00:40:56.88 –> 00:41:00.64] keep the same phone number they want to

[00:40:58.52 –> 00:41:04.40] keep the same contacts and I’ll tell

[00:41:00.64 –> 00:41:05.84] people this early in recovery get rid of

[00:41:04.40 –> 00:41:07.84] your phone

[00:41:05.84 –> 00:41:09.60] number matter of fact just get rid of

[00:41:07.84 –> 00:41:11.80] the phone get a whole new

[00:41:09.60 –> 00:41:13.64] phone because they say oh I deleted my

[00:41:11.80 –> 00:41:14.64] contacts yeah but you still got the same

[00:41:13.64 –> 00:41:17.20] phone

[00:41:14.64 –> 00:41:21.60] number right get rid of everything

[00:41:17.20 –> 00:41:24.72] change change you have to change

[00:41:21.60 –> 00:41:26.60] everything about your past you got to

[00:41:24.72 –> 00:41:28.36] change all those things the way you’re

[00:41:26.60 –> 00:41:30.24] thinking the things you’re doing the way

[00:41:28.36 –> 00:41:34.08] you’re acting and it’s it’s it’s not

[00:41:30.24 –> 00:41:36.48] easy it’s not easy it’s not easy at all

[00:41:34.08 –> 00:41:37.96] but it’s very very very doable and I’m

[00:41:36.48 –> 00:41:40.72] here to help as many people as I

[00:41:37.96 –> 00:41:43.24] possibly can and I can show them how to

[00:41:40.72 –> 00:41:46.80] do it if I can come off the streets from

[00:41:43.24 –> 00:41:48.60] living under a bridge now listen under

[00:41:46.80 –> 00:41:51.40] that bridge there was cars down beneath

[00:41:48.60 –> 00:41:53.80] that bridge doing 70 80 miles an hour

[00:41:51.40 –> 00:41:57.04] one slip and I would have fell into that

[00:41:53.80 –> 00:41:59.60] traffic and got killed that’s how far

[00:41:57.04 –> 00:42:01.72] down my addiction had driven me under a

[00:41:59.60 –> 00:42:04.20] bridge where there’s speeding traffic so

[00:42:01.72 –> 00:42:06.52] I can make it up into the holes of the

[00:42:04.20 –> 00:42:09.04] bridge so I have somewhere to sleep for

[00:42:06.52 –> 00:42:11.92] the night but I always KN knew that if I

[00:42:09.04 –> 00:42:14.44] slip and I would fall down that incline

[00:42:11.92 –> 00:42:17.16] I fall right into speed and

[00:42:14.44 –> 00:42:20.28] traffic that’s how

[00:42:17.16 –> 00:42:22.24] insane addiction had driven me so I’m

[00:42:20.28 –> 00:42:24.36] here today to say you know we can do it

[00:42:22.24 –> 00:42:27.28] and we can do it together teamw work

[00:42:24.36 –> 00:42:29.76] Makes the Dream Work Teamwork Makes a

[00:42:27.28 –> 00:42:33.04] dream I’m part of your team I’m part of

[00:42:29.76 –> 00:42:35.80] your team I’m here for anybody and

[00:42:33.04 –> 00:42:38.60] everybody anybody from the lgbtq

[00:42:35.80 –> 00:42:41.64] community anybody it doesn’t matter

[00:42:38.60 –> 00:42:45.52] there’s no judgment here no race

[00:42:41.64 –> 00:42:48.08] religion color creed or lack thereof I’m

[00:42:45.52 –> 00:42:51.32] here to help you there’s no judgment

[00:42:48.08 –> 00:42:53.76] okay I’m here wonderful I I can’t thank

[00:42:51.32 –> 00:42:56.72] you enough Rodney for sharing your story

[00:42:53.76 –> 00:43:00.56] um being so open uh

[00:42:56.72 –> 00:43:02.12] it’s a a truly inspiring story and I’m

[00:43:00.56 –> 00:43:06.40] excited for people to get to connect

[00:43:02.12 –> 00:43:08.52] with you I am too I can’t wait so if you

[00:43:06.40 –> 00:43:11.56] are interested in receiving peer support

[00:43:08.52 –> 00:43:14.32] services from Rodney visit straightup

[00:43:11.56 –> 00:43:16.68] care.com members and if you enjoyed this

[00:43:14.32 –> 00:43:18.40] interview which I’m sure you did be sure

[00:43:16.68 –> 00:43:19.84] to share it with friends and family to

[00:43:18.40 –> 00:43:21.68] help more individuals hear the

[00:43:19.84 –> 00:43:24.20] remarkable stories of peer Specialists

[00:43:21.68 –> 00:43:28.08] like Rodney and on behalf of straightup

[00:43:24.20 –> 00:43:28.08] Care thank you for joining us

[00:43:33.86 –> 00:43:38.49] [Music]