Overcoming Trauma, Addiction, & Caregiving in Rural America

00:00 Introduction and Background
01:56 Understanding Reiki and Subtle Energy Healing
04:50 Integrating Different Modalities for Holistic Healing
08:00 The Importance of Community and Peer Support in Recovery
11:45 Addressing Stigma Surrounding Addiction and Mental Health
19:06 Supporting Caregivers of Medically Complex Children
23:45 Prioritizing Self-Care and Overcoming Vicarious Trauma
28:03 Expanding Access to Peer Services through Technology
30:19 Challenging Stigma and Embracing Self-Acceptance

Whitney Menarcheck (00:00.716)

Welcome to Reduce the Stigma. Today, I have the pleasure of talking with Crystl McCall, a peer specialist and Reiki healer in Iowa. Crystl shares her experience achieving recovery from substance use as well as being the caregiver to a special needs child. Crystl has taken her different experiences in life and transformed them into a passion for serving and helping others. I’m excited for you all to take a listen and hear about

what it’s been like for Crystl in a rural area where services really are not readily available. But first, a special thank you to our sponsor, CINICA 12, an online recovery community and social media platform. Visit CINICA12 .com. Together, recovery is possible. And as always, you can find these episodes on reducethestigma .com, where we are ensuring that you have access to all the wonderful stories that are out there reducing stigma.

So let’s get started. All right, well, Crystl, I’m so excited to talk to you today. Thank you for joining me. I am curious, just let’s get started. Tell me a little bit about who you are. 

Crystal McCall 

Thank you for having me. Well, I’m a mom. I’m a mom of five kids and I am a caregiver, full -time caregiver. I have a special needs son who’s had two heart transplants and

three strokes and he’s 18 and has dementia. So that takes up a big part of my life. But I’m also a healer. I do hypnosis and Reiki and subtle energy healing and I really, really love anything natural. herbal tinctures, hiking.

anything that is just that just brings that naturalness out. wonderful. 

Whitney Menarcheck

Now, Reiki, I’m not very familiar. I have a little bit of an understanding. know that I believe it has something to do with energies, a person’s energy, cleansing energies.  Can you help us understand what exactly that is and the benefits? 

Crystl McCall

Yeah. So when I first heard about Reiki, a lot of people either say Reiki, Reiki, subtle energy movement. I kind of just, that’s kind of like an umbrella term for me, myself, because I like to kind of go with who I’m working with on whether it’s, you know, Reiki or subtle energy, because it really depends on the person. But you have different energy centers in your body.

And what I had learned through my son, it was actually offered in the hospital. And so when I came home, I was like, my gosh, I had to learn this. I’ve known this all my life, you know? And so basically you have these energy centers in your body and I just help facilitate the movement through. So I’ll take my hands and I’ll gently lay them either on you or over you. And, you know, I’ll start up at the crown chakra and I will just move that energy down.

Sometimes I fluff it. Sometimes I’ll make weird sounds. It’s just whatever the energy tells me. have a little bit of clairvoyance in me as well. I use a lot of those natural gifts with helping people. And what I’ve seen in my career with Reiki or energy movement is that it helps people release blockages. you know, there’s a book called The Body Keeps the Score and I can’t remember the… 

Whitney Menarcheck 

Vessel van der Kolk.

Crystal McCall

Yes, yes. That was a really, really big eye opener for me because our bodies do keep the score and I have suffered through a lot of trauma and I don’t want to, you know, be like, the pity party or anything like that. I feel like when I started to release that trauma and become more myself in my own skin and be honest with myself about

my pain and my trauma and my addiction that I would be I would heal and I did. I did heal and the weight just started falling off and with my son, same thing. It was just really healing for us. And so I really promote that and I promote that with with my clients, obviously. Yeah. 

Whitney Menarcheck (04:49.582)

Now we started with Reiki, Reiki, I’m going to keep questioning how to say it. I apologize. And it’s funny because, you know, it wasn’t the purpose of having you on today. Today we were to talk about peer work because you are a peer specialist. And I think that this is just such a wonderful combining of your skill set.

So you have this Reiki practice and now you are also starting to do peer support. Have you thought about that integration? 

Crystal McCall

Yes, we’re actually working on that right now. Right now, my business is Om Hypnosis and Reiki. And for me, I picked Om because at that time I was starting to go through my healing process and I was actually, that’s when I just got sober from alcohol. So it’s been about

it’ll be six years on Halloween night would be the last time I drank alcohol. when I started to get, I call it healthy or healed, like when I start healing or recovering, all of those modalities really just became natural to me. I started doing hypnosis and learning how to

right. Hypnosis scripts. And I actually lost a whole bunch of weight with using hypnosis. And, so I want to integrate. And so we’re talking about maybe changing that home hypnosis and right. B2 recover all of the G and so it can kind of umbrella all of it. And cause I don’t like to work outside of my lane, you know, I don’t want to do that. And so

I think what it’s going to entail is a lot of other coaches coming in and also mental health coaches. My husband also has gone through addiction with me and we got sober together and he is a paramedic and he is going through mental health coaching training so we can kind of collaborate all of it together. 

Whitney Menarcheck (07:07.914)

Yes, I love the name. That is so neat and I And what a great approach because, you know, being a peer is so, it’s all about that lived experience. And so, you know, certainly it’s not push whatever worked for you onto others. However, it’s being able to bring different opportunities and potential tools to people. And that’s what you’re doing. You’re saying this was tremendous for my healing. You’ve already got.

gotten the training and done that and now you’re bringing in the pure component. So how to do it in that way rather than just like the random, you know, a person who comes to you who maybe you don’t have that shared lived experience. Well, now you’re going to have them integrated and what a holistic approach that’s going to be and just incredible. So you mentioned that you’re in recovery from alcohol. Congratulations on the upcoming six years.

And you also mentioned that you’re a caregiver. Your loved one has also been in addiction, been through an addiction. So are all of these experiences of yours, things that you tend to offer peer support for or what areas are you interested in? 

Crystal McCall

Yeah, well, I actually, my biggest addiction was actually methamphetamine. So I grew up in a

Small rural area and I still live in a very rural area. And so, you know, like most rural areas, we don’t have the tools or the, outlets to be able to have the information to stay sober. And a lot of times they’re just, it’s looked at as okay. So I grew up and it was like, you did drugs. Yep. So did we, you know, or, we drank alcohol, we all drink alcohol, you know, we all drink alcohol at church and at.

festivities, you know, and so it was just a thing and mine really started with abuse and anxiety and an eating disorder. If I had meth, I didn’t have to eat. I had the energy to do the things and the responsibilities that were expected of me. It wasn’t a, it wasn’t a, it was a weird type of addiction. It really just started with an eating disorder and some really trauma that I never addressed. And so going forward, I, I’ve been 10 years clean from from meth. And in between that there were years and years spaced out as well. But this has been my longest that I’ve been recovered. And I take great pride in that. 

Whitney Menarcheck

As you should. 

Crystal McCall

And the thing was, is it for me, I didn’t get the opportunity to go to a recovery center or have a group because that’s not, I’m in rural Iowa. They don’t offer that really here. It’s not, it’s just not here yet. And so for me to be able to use these experiences and say, hey, this is needed. This is important for us to have a community because I was a caregiver and if,

if somebody looked at me badly, was like, you know, that could end everything for me. And it was, it was, it was a balancing act is what I want to call it. And so now I can look at it and be like, you know what, really, all I really had to do was acknowledge the trauma and the fact that I’m also in anticipated grief all the time with my son.

So I do a lot of work with a lot of people with, who have things like that, like caregivers burnout. I’m also a firefighter and my dad was a cop. So I see a lot of the different burnouts and the different addictions from different levels. And it’s not just people who are either, who have those stigmas of mental health, homeless, it’s other.

other areas too that have the same addictions and something that I’m really passionate about is that vicarious trauma and I think that that might have a hand in our addictions and so with our company we really want to promote because in our area we don’t have people that come into the hospital when somebody has, know, they’re, excuse my language, losing their shit.

You know, but they don’t have somebody that comes in and is that coach or that peer specialist and that says, Hey, you know, what’s going on? You know, let’s talk, let’s see where you might need some help. Maybe they don’t need to go through all that stuff. Maybe they just needed somebody to listen and get them the resources that they needed. It’s absolutely. And I appreciate you talking about the fact that your experience did not include a rehab and inpatient.

intensive outpatient because that’s, we lose a lot of people because we feel like we have to, the only way is through formal treatment. and that dismisses, you know, the decades of effectiveness of 12 steps for those it works for. But also there are people who like you find what is needed in their own way. And it’s the awareness sometimes of.

Okay, let me acknowledge this. Let me, I can do Reiki cleansing and that will help, know, and so when, and I hope this message reaches those people who feel like, my loved one will never go to treatment. So therefore they’ll never be better. That’s not true. People can recover even if they don’t engage in a formal treatment. I know a lot of people actually because of the stigma and the shame that goes

that people think, I’m going to look a certain way if I get treatment, but it’s not true. You can have a past and then take that past and level it up. You can be like, you know what? I went through this and now I can help somebody because I got through it. Right. You know, right. They can get through it too. There’s many different pathways, you know, and that’s what I like to promote because I myself, I have epilepsy. I’ve had it all my life. and

I was highly against medical cannabis for most of my life, even cannabis period, just because I grew up with that around me. And it was not something that I saw positive, which really defeated the purpose of my other drug use. But I now I use medical cannabis for my seizures because the other prescription meds, they make me sick and they make me forget things I can’t function and my doctor prescribed that. And so I promote healthy, natural options. also promote, you know, doctors using, you know, other pathways such as medicines to help people as well. I don’t judge. you know, even if they’re currently still just curious about recovery, I’m open. Right. Now,

Whitney Menarcheck

You mentioned a term, vicarious trauma. Can you explain in your words? I don’t need a dictionary definition in your words. For those who don’t know, what is vicarious trauma? Well, vicarious trauma is living trauma through somebody else’s experiences. 

Crystal McCall

So, like I said, my son, he’s on palliative care, and he’s strong and amazing, and he’s starting his own business, but I have seen his heart out of his chest. I have seen him dying. I have seen all of these things and that was the, I took that trauma as well by seeing it or hearing his pain or being, my husband being a paramedic, he lives that vicarious trauma all the time because he goes to different calls.

We, as recovery coaches or peer support specialists, we all have vicarious trauma. Everybody does, especially like, because of COVID. Yes, we all do.

Whitney Menarcheck

Absolutely. And I don’t think we’ve had anyone mentioned vicarious trauma on the show before. it’s something that really is, I mean, that’s a big part of burnout is just being exposed to so much pain and having to endure that. And we can feel it.

Whitney Menarcheck (16:18.516)

almost like a dismissal of our own experiences, but it didn’t happen to me. So why should I be this upset? Well, that’s not true. We have to stop judging our feelings and our experiences and just say, wow, even hearing about that is so upsetting to me. I need to tend to myself with this. 

Crystal McCall

Yeah. And self care. just, really promote self care. Like, you know,

I’m a dork, I like natural modalities. like tapping, you know, I always, always refer out always, usually for mental health. And usually I refer out for EMDR, just because I think that’s a really natural, great modality that helps everybody. But I think, you know, that vicarious trauma, it gets you.

And it was hard for me to see my son so sick. And so I wanted to not feel anything. And so it was easier for me to self -medicate than it was for me to go find a therapist that actually worked for me. I was going to tell you, so at the end of my

on drug use, I tried to commit suicide and I almost succeeded had not a friend come over for no reason just to come and see how I was doing and she found me and that was a moment that I woke up and I was like.

There you are, you know, yeah, I felt like for so long, I wasn’t living in my true self because I was hiding all of that addiction and all of that trauma. And I just want people to know when they find their community and they can live freely for who they are in their addiction and out of their addiction. And that’s winning. That’s really what. Yes. how powerful and.

Whitney Menarcehck

Hearing all of this, you mentioned that you believe like the roots of your substance use was not only just the exposure and the acceptance, also the trauma. And then with, you know, what you’ve been through as a caregiver, as a parent of a medically fragile child, I imagine that not only is that traumatizing and then the,

for you, the vicarious trauma as well as truly traumatizing to have a child in that position. There’s also the fact that in my experience, least parents tend to push away all of their needs and they are so invested in their children in general, especially when there are these medical complexities that it then just keeps building and building and building and becomes to a point

where the parent is in such a state of distress and need and, you know, and was that something that you experienced or that you’ve, you know, seen others with medically complex children experience?

Crystal McCall

I’ve seen a lot of others with medically complex children suffer from addiction and mental health issues.

A lot of the families it’s hard and the thing is is they don’t have the tools either because they’re just not being given out and a lot of the parents also are self self -cooping, know trying to China or self -medicating and you know It was when I started to take care of myself and see that I When I found my right therapist is when

I really started to heal and when I really started to look at my addiction and dissect it and dissect my trauma and then, you know, just look at, you know, my parenting, look at who I am as a person. What are my, what are my morals? What are my beliefs? You know, I didn’t know those things because I, I wasn’t all there before, you know, and now I finally kind of feel like I’m getting a second chance of life. Like, you know, I’m getting to help and be of service. Yes.

So I it helps me cope as well with my grief because it’s a way of coping. My family makes fun of me all the time because I have like little OCD things that I do. have to, for my mind, I have to have things organized and they are always like, mom’s got OCD. And I’m like, no, it’s just a healthy coping tool. And it is.

those are, those are other things I promote, you know, it’s, it’s hard when you don’t know what tomorrow might bring, but everybody lives that way. It’s not just me, you know, everybody has trauma, even if it’s like my son being sick and my watching my other children have to navigate that as well. And yeah,

that could be the same as somebody else having trauma where maybe they just got a divorce or maybe they just lost their job or, you know, they’re just depressed or they don’t feel themselves. Everybody experiences trauma the same way, just different experiences, you know? Yes, it’s all pain and our world being just rocked. The world as we knew it changing. Yeah. Yeah. And

Whitney Menarcheck

I agree. You can see I’m getting all excited. I’m like, yes, I agree. Because we have, you know, for so long, we dismissed experiences and then had the term trauma for those really big things that no one could deny was hard. As we continue to be more cognizant of the pain that events actually are instead of pretending, no, I’m fine, pull up, pick myself up and

You know, by the bootstraps, you know, that’s when we’re seeing we have all been through immense pain because we, know, that’s unfortunately a part of life. What I think that can be different is how easy is it to escape the reality of it? You know, when, yes, I don’t know what tomorrow brings. However, it’s a lot more.

easy for me to live in my naivete of it’ll be just another day. Whereas when you have a loved one with a chronic illness or something like that, then you, it’s not as easy to say, not gonna happen. It’s much more, you know, pressing and in your face in a way. and so you have to acknowledge it in a timely way that others kind of don’t have to.

Crystal McCall

And it’s also, think, I think I have to acknowledge as well to like you, somebody might have an addictive personality, but they’re then they can also be an addict. like I found that I have an addictive personality with unresolved trauma and that was causing my addictions. Whereas there’s also the other type where they are addicted. they’re addicted to that certain particular substance.

You know, like if maybe alcohol and it even gets down to the point where let’s say you’re drinking mouthwash, something like that. That’s, you know, that’s an addiction. But then I think there’s, there’s, I personally think there’s two different kinds. I think finding which kind that is will also decide how you can help somebody and what they need. Right. 

Whitney Menarcehck

absolutely. And just so many different things that you’re taking into consideration when you approach someone. 

You certainly don’t have a cookie cutter approach, it sounds. And that’s wonderful because we have too many things in the world that are tried at one size fits all. Now, we’ve covered a lot of different things and I’m trying to just like, as we move towards wrapping up here,

Whitney Menarcheck (25:11.286)

I want to make sure that we really get to reflect, you know, your style, your personality. What is it like for someone when they are, you know, say, I’m going to come work with you, whether it’s for peer services or for Reiki or what have you. 

Crystal McCall

Okay. well, usually I, so I have an office out of my house in my basement and, it is filled with all things natural and.

spiritual and I always have, you know, incense going. Usually I have, you relaxing music playing in the back and I just like to make people feel really relaxed. I also have a massage chair for people to sit in if they want to. And when they come in, I just go over and we just talk and we get to know each other. And depending upon what service I’m offering or they’re coming for.

as far as Reiki, I would, you know, lay them down on my table and we would get started and then I would meet with them after and tell them, you know, what I. You know, my recommendations and then same with hypnosis, those kind of take a little bit longer because I also do past life. Hypnosis, which is quantum healing that takes 5 hours. So, usually that takes a lot of work up before. So people have to write things out before they come.

So that is a process as far as recovery. I invite them down and we just sit and we talk and I ask them what they need and, you know, sometimes it could be the smallest thing as. You know, I need help insurance or, you know, things just aren’t really going right at my job. You know, is they need somebody else to chime in, you know, or do they need more services? And then, you know, I would say, okay, well, hey.

Let’s kind of go through this little chart and we’re going to we’re going to see where you’re at here. know, we kind of make it fun. And I also give out breathing tips and we do breathing together and, you know, just I just try to make it really comfortable for them. 

Whitney Menarcheck (27:34.316)

Sounds like a very supportive space and very thoughtful of what you’ve put into it. So, that’s exciting. And I know where I assume hypnosis and Reiki is only in person. Peer services though, will you be offering those online? Yes, yes, through Straight Up Care. So yes, I’ll be offering those online as well, Yeah, and I think, I mean, that’s part of the beauty of the technology is reaching the rural population. So hopefully you’ll be able to connect with those people who otherwise wouldn’t have access.

cause there are a lot of people who are still in these deserts, service deserts. and so hopefully they can find their way to you, through, you know, using technology. would be. 

Crystal McCall

That would be great. And this, you know, even in the syndicate 12, like there’s so much, you know, that we can offer. And I think it’s just like, this is a new uncharted territory and.

I also think that this might help bring recoveries a sense of. Placement, I think. Yeah, and I think that’s really what everybody wants is placement a place where they are needed. And I think that this is a good place for recoverees.

Whitney Menarcheck

I love that. The recoveries. I like that word. You’re just coming up with some really great terminology. So yes, absolutely. Because we don’t want to belong, right? let’s make more. I’m sorry. Go ahead. 

Crystal McCall

I know that syndicate 12 and then the straight up here. Like I saw when this all started, you know, Dr. Mo, I actually went to school with her and

So she was the one who actually kind of brought it to my attention and she’s kind of changed my life. so like straight up care and syndicate like, yeah, hands down, I think it’s gonna be the best. 

Whitney Menarcheck (29:50.902)

Well, thank you. We are just so happy to have you part of the family, the straight up care family and just everything that you’re offering. I’m excited for people to hear about you. We will link to things for your website and things like that.

As we wrap up, I do have my final questions for you. The first really honing in on stigma, and this can be any type of stigma, but could you share an experience where you did endure some stigma and what you would like people to know about it? Oof, that’s a hard one. I think stigma is everywhere for everything.

Crystal McCall

Gosh, that’s hard. I’ve endured stigma a lot with mental health and with depression and anxiety, people think if you have addiction or if you have mental health issues that you’re never gonna heal, you’re never gonna really, you’re always gonna have that on you. And I’m living proof that that’s not true. And anybody can get out of that spot.

You know, and I just think with stigma It just closely goes with karma for me, you know, like I’m like If it doesn’t fit for everybody It’s gonna affect you later on down the road. So just don’t do it kind of thing. So for me stigma I don’t even know. Like, it’s so hard. It’s so hard because there’s so many stigmas for so many things. yes, I just want people to really, really know that what other people think of them doesn’t matter. It’s what they think of themselves. and just, just don’t, don’t listen to that negative voice that is telling you’re no good because we all are winners in this world and we’re all here to support everybody, not just some people.

That’s, that’s decadent. 

Whitney Menarcheck 

Yeah. And it’s funny, you kind of started to go right into my next question, but I’m going to ask it anyway. this is where I ask you to speak to the person listening, who’s going through something tough, going through a hard time. What would you like them to hear? 

Crystal McCall

You’re not alone. You are not alone. Everybody has stuff.

We all have stuff. And if you don’t want to heal alone, would you think somebody else would want to heal alone? So we just need to open that talk up. Not alone. Open the talk up. 

Whitney Menarcheck

That’s exactly it. Right. That’s the whole point of the podcast is sharing stories because when we share, we’re tackling.

stigma, we’re raising awareness. And it shows that there are people out there just like you, just like me, just like the person next to us. Right. And so you, you aren’t alone. Crystl, I have just really enjoyed getting to know you better and hear your story and everything that you’re going to be able to offer to our listeners and the clients that find their way to you.

so I just want to thank you one more time for joining me today. 

Crystl McCall 

This was awesome. I’m so excited. Thank you. Yes. my pleasure. 

Whitney Menarcheck

And for all of you listening, I’m sure you took something really valuable away today and sharing stories like crystals can really be impactful. So please subscribe and share these with others. We continue to reduce your stigma when we’re talking about the things that no one wants to talk about.

Whitney Menarcheck (33:38.091)

So get these messages out there. Let’s raise up voices of individuals with lived experience. Thank you all so much for listening.